Sequel to Messy.
Lauren is finally back to a normal life after Camila left her years ago. The scars have begun to heal and she can finally feel happy again. She is happy with her job, social life, and relationship of three years.
The rest of the g...
Things were quiet between Lucy and I when I got home. I can't help but think that I could've prevented all of this. If I didn't have that panic attack, I wouldn't have passed out wouldn't have to go to the hospital for my hand. I could've simply finished my shift while ignoring Camila and gone on with my life.
Instead, I stayed out all night with my ex without contacting my girlfriend. This has to be eating her up as bad as it is to me but she isn't acknowledging it. She decided to carry out out Sunday routine of pancakes in the morning and act like nothing is wrong. But it's still too quiet.
"Lucy?" She pours the batter into the pan and let's out a simple "mhmm" for me to continue.
"Babe. Please talk to me." I know she's trying to act like this doesn't bother her. I'd be losing my shit if I were in her place. Her eyes never leave the stovetop and her body is stiff, so I walk up behind her, wrapping my arms around her waist and resting my head on her shoulder.
She relaxes in my embrace and I let out a small smile. "I'm sorry Lucy. I didn't know any of that was going to happen. Please tell me what's on your mind?"
She finally turns around in my arms to meet my gaze. I just realized how bloodshot her eyes had gotten. "I was worried Lo. I was calling you and looking around all night thinking the worst." Oh shit. I left my phone at the bar.
"I'm beyond happy that you're home safe and sound and I now understand why you weren't picking up, but why didn't you come home after you got out? Dinah called me to let me know what happened and I called the hospital around 7 to see if you were still there. They told me you left but you didn't come home until 10:30. And you were with her. Do you understand how this looks?" Her voice is getting shaky and I can hear the desperation in her voice. I need to fix this, I made her insecure because I wasn't thinking.
"I do see how this looks but nothing happened. I didn't want to wake anybody up, so I decided to walk home and take a little pit stop to watch the sunrise at the beach. She found me there and asked for just a few moments for me to hear her out. I was so tired, I just wanted to go home, so I told her she could talk while driving me home. That was all." Her eyes are flickering between mine, looking to see if I am telling the honest truth.
Then the smell of something burning flows through the air. We both turn our attention to the now almost black pancakes. She pulls out of my grasp to move into action.
"Damnit. Shit. Fuck." She practically screams as she lifts the hot pan and moves to throw the burnt food into the trash can. And here comes the spiral I've been waiting for. I mentally prepare myself for comforting my girlfriend and grab the pan from her hands before she burns herself.
"I'm sorry. I shouldn't feel like this. You're the best girlfriend ever and I shouldn't be this pitiful when it comes to you. I don't like her being around. I don't trust her, Lauren. I'm scared that she will worm her way back into your life and take you from me." I pull her close to myself as we sink to the floor.
"I love you Lucy. Nothing will change that. You are allowed to feel this way and it's not pitiful at all. Communication is key for these sorts of things and you telling me that is a huge step when it comes to dealing with this. I'm sorry you feel that way, if I'm being honest, I don't know what to feel. But that still doesn't change any of my feelings towards you." She doesn't say anything, so we just sit there, my arm around her torso and her head resting on my shoulder.
Yes, my head hurts and my heart aches right now. I don't know what to make of Camila coming back. I don't know what this means for the future of anything. Are the girls going to reunite with her again? They also know she's back. She could just go back to being out of our lives again.
All that I know is that I need to be here for my girlfriend and show her that I'm not going anywhere.
Hey beautiful people! How are you?
I'm dying from lack of sleep, excessive amounts of school work, and allergies made worse by red tide, but besides that, I'm fantastic.
I can't believe Expectations is coming out on Wednesday. I was honestly pissed when she announced that she pushed it back but the day is finally near yet again.
Also- I thought I was the only one that caught it (stupid thought- I should've known better). But what the fuck is this? Some say it's two Lauren's because the video is her in a black dress and a white dress (angels versus demons?), but it doesn't look like her in my opinion. I feel delusional saying this, but doesn't the one in the back look like a certain brown eyed Cuban girl??
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Edit several days later/ the day after the MV was released: Okay... I take it back. The clip in the trailer made it look like that was the only interaction between two people.
But like. I heard it driving to class (just over an hour on the road) and I've never been so entranced by a song the first time hearing it. I watched it and just kinda sat there for a while afterwards. Just staring into space. And that choreo? Damn.
I can't comprehend the being that she is? Shit. Fuck? Still not over it. Idk how to get over it.
