I'm Not Your Toy

update

Hey guys, I know I've dropped off the face of the earth for a bit and I'm done making excuses because that's all I've done while trying to write this book. All I have to say about that is that I had to take some personal time for myself and get myself through school.

The point of this update is to see how you guys have been doing throughout this mess of a month with Covid-19. Please please please stay home and safe, I'm here to say the whole speech about lowering the curve and all. This shit is getting scary for me now.

I hope everybody is doing well and staying safe. I've only been out of the house to walk the dogs, go grocery shopping for my family and some of my older neighbors, and to work (which has chance procedures to be extremely cautious). So far, my area has been doing okay, but numbers are starting to rise quicker every day.

I do have bad news in terms of distant family though, my mom's step mom may have the virus and is currently on life support and in quarantine, they're waiting for her test to come back (everybody is pretty sure it's positive). I don't want to scare you and we don't have the full story yet, but my mom's step brother texted us with a short and scary overview with what he knew. She first had uncontrollable vommitting and diarrhea, then was immobile on the ground. My mom's dad then called the ambulance and got her into the hospital, where her heart stopped for five minutes before she was resuscitated. And at some point, her body temperature was at 69 degrees F. They don't think she's going to make it...

I am not too close with that side of the family, but that made things real for me. Reading what happened and how it happened so quick from somebody who I know doesn't exaggerate for the news or anything terrifies me. I'm young, but my immune system literally fights itself, so I have no clue how I'd fair out if I were to get it. Either way, I couldn't live with myself if I knew I spread it to the elders in my community or my family.

I'm trying to work on this book, but my brain has been focused everywhere else for a while now and I've been reading a lot here lately. I'd love to start pushing out chapters soon so I can help you guys get the few moments of peace that I get while reading here too.

Sorry this was everywhere, I just had to update you guys because I don't stop thinking about y'all even if I don't post for a long time... It's also 5 am and I haven't slept in a long time, so that doesn't help.

Feel free to rant your feelings on this whole thing in the comments or tell me how you're doing. I'd love to chat with you guys in this weird time were living in. Please stay safe. Things are only going to get crazier where I am, so I'm trying to hunker down and be prepared.

April 8th 2020 update

I hope you are all staying safe and staying home to the best of your abilities. I am in Florida, and we're now on a stay at home order, which has been needed for some time.

My dad and I are both considered essential personnel, the only reason I am is because we take care of the first responders' dogs while they're working crazy shifts. It usually takes about 30 minutes to drive to my work and seeing the huge lack of cars on the road never stops shocking me. I've seen more cars on the road hours before a hurricane hits than I do now.

I do have some bad news though. My mom's step mom did end up passing away on Monday morning. Her test finally came in as negative for Covid-19, so thankfully my grandpa and uncle were able to be with her on her last day. We will fly up north to pay our respects once all this craziness is all over.

Sorry about the sad news, I just feel the need to keep everybody updated. Please stay safe everybody. I'll keep you posted here if things change for me, so feel free to ignore this post from here on if you get annoyed by it (sorry).

April 27 update
I had to take a step back and focus on my classes, which are thankfully over with.

I unfortunately found out that a close friends' dog passed away while I was in the middle of one of my exams. We knew his health was declining very rapidly every day and we were loving him extra hard every time we saw him, but it was still a shock to the system. He was basically our dog. They have our dog's littermate as well and we are with them almost every day, they're all basically family.

Some people don't see dogs as family, but I always have. Hell, I work at a doggy daycare and I'm super close with several dogs there. I don't even know their families. This isn't a sad post. I am very upset with everything, but I'm also inspired to keep his memory going in a positive, not sad way.

He was the reason we got Labrador puppies with his family because he was an amazing dog. He was the best mentor to the boys, taught them basic dog etiquette and how to live a happy life. Knowing that he has had that impact on the boys helps us keep going, his legacy lives on in the boys and in our hearts.

I've never been impacted this much by dog before. I've lost a dog before and it hurt like what I'm going through now. I loved him a lot, but once he was gone, I didn't see signs of him everywhere I look. Perhaps it's the fact that I'm much older now.

I don't know, I'm just ranting now. May JakeyBear rest in peace, and let his legacy live on forever. He will definitely never leave our hearts.