From Rome with love (Book 4)

Bad dreams and forgiveness

*Tom*
I am rolled up on the pull out couch in the living room. Maddie hadn't exactly kicked me out of the bedroom, but she wanted space and I am going to do my best to give her that.

Wrapping my arms around myself I am fighting the tears. How could I be so dumb ? I actually thought I had done everything right this time. But I had still treated her like a kid I needed to care for, not my equal, I see that now. Actually I don't get why she hasn't left me earlier. She must really love me.

The thought that she might leave me makes it impossible for me to keep in the tears. I know I screwed up. I should have ended it a long time ago.. hell I should never have started it. I might have ruined her marriage and my own even before the wedding. And Zac probably wants to knock my teeth out.

I sob into the pillow, hoping Maddie won't hear me. I don't want her to feel bad. She has every right to need time and space right now.

Finally I drift of to an uneasy sleep, filled with bad dreams and nightmares. Most of them about Maddie leaving or not showing up at the wedding.

*Maddie*
I tip-toe out to the small kitchen to have a glass of water. Glancing at Tom as I pass him. He is whimpering slightly, hugging his pillow to his chest. He must be dreaming something.

Honestly I haven't slept much so far. My brain running in circles about what to do. My brain and my heart fighting for the control. I empty the glass, I really needed something cold. I close my eyes, leaning on the counter, taking in a deep cleaning breath.

My peaceful tranquility is shattered by a visceral primal cry that makes every single hair on my body stand to attention. Tom ! Holy fuck what happened ? I am running back to the living room before the echoes of that horrible sound have died away, my heart thumping with fear.

I flip the light switch, one of the small wall lamps turn on. Tom is tossing and turning, almost like he is writhing in agony. He cries out again and that eerie, devastating sound shoots through me again.

Shit - He is having a bad nightmare.

"Tom !" I lean over him to grab his shoulder and shake him awake. He opens his eyes and they are wild and vacant, scanning the room quickly, before ending on me.

"You left, you left me, you weren't there". He mumbles, his wide eyed stare turning almost accusatory, but he looks so lost, it wrenches my heart. Poor Tom.

"I'm here". I sit down beside him. "I'm right here". I murmur softly in an effort to reassure him. I reach out to place my palm on the side of his face, trying to soothe him.

"You were gone". He whispers rapidly. His eyes are still wild and frightened, but he seems to be calming.

"I was just in the other room boo".

He closes his eyes and rubs his face. When he opens them again, he looks so desolate.

"You're still here. Oh, thank God". He reaches for me and grabbing me tightly he pulls me down on the couch with him.

"I went for a glass of water". I mumble, unsure how to react.

Oh, the intensity of his fear and pain.. I can feel it. His t-shirt it drenched in sweat and his heart is pounding as he hugs me close. He is gazing at me as to reassure himself that I am actually here. I gently stroke his hair and then his cheek.

"Tom, please boo. I'm right here. I'm not going anywhere". I say soothingly.

"Oh Maddie". He breathes. He grasps my chin to hold me in place and then his mouth is on mine. Desire sweeps through me and unbidden my body react. It's so tied and attuned to him. His lips are at my ear, my throat, then back at my mouth, his teeth gently pulling at my lower lip, his hand traveling up my body from my hip to my breast, dragging my t-shirt up. Caressing me, feeling his way through the dips and swallows of my skin, he elicits the same familiar reaction, his touch sending shivers through me. I moan as his hand cups my breast and his fingers tighten over my nipple.