FOOLS [2; CHRIS EVANS]

IV.

LOLA
so I go away for THREE days

LOLA
one

LOLA
two

LOLA
tHREE

LOLA
I have NO phone service for 72 (!!) hours

LOLA
and somehow yourself and christopher manage to break the internet

LOLA
AGAIN

LOLA
?????????

MINNIE
bby! how was your vacation! I miss u sooooo much 🤧💖💕💞💘💓💝💝💘💘💖💗💝💓💕💞💘💓💖💗💝💝💓💘💞💕💕💝💖💖💖💝💝💘💘💘

LOLA
bby 👀

MINNIE
oH that

MINNIE
nah that's just media schmedia

MINNIE
we did end up getting engaged yesterday tho so there's that

LOLA
exCUSE ME

LOLA
you did WHAT ???

LOLA
!!!!!!!!!!!

MINNIE
well yeah

LOLA
E N G A G E D

LOLA
like to-be-married, engaged??

MINNIE
no like occupied-public-toilet, engaged 🙃

LOLA
did I — did I somehow take a wrong turn on the way home from Greece and somehow enter a parallel universe

MINNIE
chris said he wanted to ask me before the press could report on it first

MINNIE
so he did

MINNIE
and I said ya yeet and now we're getting hitched

MINNIE
romance isn't dead yet !!

LOLA
wait is this for real

LOLA
am I being pranked — did they ,, did they finally lift your ban from ellen

MINNIE
you make out w captain america on a sacred couch on tv and suddenly you're charged w ruining two national icons 😪

LOLA
what can I say — you either die a hero or live long enough to see yourself become a villain

LOLA
or a bride, apparently

LOLA
that's never not gonna be weird

MINNIE
but like it's a secret so you've gotta keep it hush, man

MINNIE
we're gonna elope and then tell seb and tom so that we can watch their tiny little minds implode

LOLA
lEAVE ME SON ALONE

MINNIE
NEVER HE'S A LITTLE PRICK AND I WILL TREAT HIM AS SUCH

LOLA
HE IS THE SWEETEST KID ME AND LIZZIE LOVE HIM DEARLY

MINNIE
bc you are fOOLS

LOLA
because we are KIND LOVELY CARING PEOPLE WHO HAVE H E A R T S

MINNIE
hmmmMMMMm

MINNIE
not convinced tbh

LOLA
hmmmmMmmm

LOLA
whatever

LOLA
now get off your lazy ass and come let me in bc I didn't have enough cash to get all the way back to my place so sURPRISE !!!

MINNIE
error 404: minnie not found!

LOLA
pLS

MINNIE
idk :// answering the door seems like something that only a KIND LOVELY CARING person with a H E A R T would do

MINNIE
&& as you've made it apparent that I don't fall into that category, I think I'll stay right here

LOLA
I lOVE you and have MISSED YOU with my entire heart pLS LET ME IN

MINNIE
I'll think abt it

LOLA
guess I'll just set your presents on fire then, shame ://

MINNIE
would you lOOK AT THAT there's somebody at the door !! brb

AUTHOR'S NOTE: apparently they got engaged fuck u TMZ bet u didn't see THAT coming ( && neither did I bc we impulse write  now apparently )