FOOLS [2; CHRIS EVANS]

IX.

LIZZIE
MINNIE CLAYTON-IS-SOON-TO-BE-EVANS YOU LIVING LEGEND I LOVE YOU

MINNIE
henlo

MINNIE
what can I do for you on this fine Sunday morning

LIZZIE
jUST KEEP BEING YOU !!! ILY

SEBASTIAN
wait why what did she do this time

TOM
dID YOU NOT SEE IT ???

SEBASTIAN
see what ??

ROBERT
wow for someone who proclaims his undying love for chrinnie every 3 seconds you really don't keep up with them, huh ??

SEBASTIAN
I jusT WOKE UP what's going ON

CHRIS
nothing much

CHRIS
me and Minnie just released an official statement about the engagement and pregnancy rumours bc people weren't taking her little poem seriously

SEBASTIAN
what did the announcement SAY

ANTHONY
"Minnie would like to clarify that her and Chris ARE engaged but are NOT pregnant with their first child. She would like to further add, that if she is pregnant with anything, it is regret. She ate bad shrimp last week, and that's been the only cause of any sickness, morning or otherwise. Love u!!!"

MINNIE
I didn't major in creative writing for nothing 🤷‍♀️

SEBASTIAN
excuse me you did wHAT kskskksksks

MINNIE
,,, yeah ??

SEBASTIAN
you found a college that would LET YOU IN ?? SURE

CHRIS
she got her smarts from her momma, of course tHEY DID

MINNIE
🤧💖💗💘💝💖💖💘💞💝💗💖💕💞💘💘💘💖💗💝💝💓💞💞

MINNIE
( ALSO — YEAH SEB, SUCK IT!!! )

SEBASTIAN
minnie clayton you're an engaged woman — and to my best friend nonetheless ! I would nEVER

LIZZIE
why do you have to ruin everything 😪

CHRIS
how dare you come here into my house and call me your best friend

SEBASTIAN
I — I'm hURT

MINNIE
,,, oh ,,, no ?

SEBASTIAN
🤧🤧🤧🤧🤧🤧🤧🤧🤧🤧🤧🤧🤧🤧🤧🤧🤧🤧🤧🤧🤧🤧🤧🤧🤧🤧🤧🤧🤧🤧🤧🤧🤧🤧🤧🤧🤧🤧🤧🤧🤧🤧🤧🤧🤧🤧🤧🤧🤧🤧🤧🤧🤧🤧🤧🤧

SEBASTIAN
DENNY'S BATHROOM, BABY, I'M COMING HOME

ROBERT
THE SOULMATES REUNITE AT LAST

ANTHONY
watch out chrinnie, seb and stall #2 are coming to take your power couple crown

SEBASTIAN
hey nO stall #2 is of the past, #3 has much better acoustics

SEBASTIAN
really turns my sobs in art™️ you know

LIZZIE
how far ,,, is too far