FOOLS [2; CHRIS EVANS]

XXXVIII.

SEBASTIAN
MINERVA EVANS GET IN HERE RN

MINNIE
what the FUCK do you want this time

SEBASTIAN
ANSWERS

MINNIE
about what idiot

SEBASTIAN
you're just leaving social media

SEBASTIAN
like tHAT

SEBASTIAN
how am I supposed to taunt you across multiple platforms if you do that

CHRIS
I'm so glad that you have your priorities right, seb

SEBASTIAN
thank u I appreciate that

TOM
I — I'm pretty sure it was sarcasm

SEBASTIAN
we all know I don't understand sarcasm, if you're going to use it you have to declare it

LIZZIE
doesn't that defeat the entire point of sarcasm

ANTHONY
we all know that sebastian is a dumbass just ignore him

SEBASTIAN
nO because Minnie CAN'T JUST QUIT SOCIAL MEDIA

SEBASTIAN
it's like if —

SEBASTIAN
like iF

SEBASTIAN
if rOBERT QUIT BEING TONY STARK

ROBERT
yeah, about that ,,

SEBASTIAN
no don't u dARE

ROBERT
OOF :/

SEBASTIAN
nO

SEBASTIAN
this isn't fair everyone is growing up and moving on from the mcu and getting married and having babies and nO

MINNIE
maybe if you were less annoying you could do that stuff too

MARK
ouch, harsh

MARK
but admittedly fair

SEBASTIAN
:(

CHRIS
it's cute that you think Minnie coming off of social media is somehow going to make her into a mature adult ??

CHRIS
absolutely not, nothing's gonna change drastically c'mon

MINNIE
he's right

MINNIE
plus I'm still gonna be in this fucking groupchat, and I'll be coming to set, AND I still have filming for A4 to do

MINNIE
not to mention that you're genuinely godfather to joey, it's not like I'm going to disappear from ur life you dramatic bitch

SEBASTIAN
y — you promise

MINNIE
oh my god you're a bigger baby than my actual baby how the fuck —

SEBASTIAN
I just have a lot of FEELINGS okay

SEBASTIAN
ur announcement just felt like ,, idk ,, the end of something

MINNIE
well yeah I guess it kinda is

MINNIE
but that's not necessarily a bad thing

MINNIE
I'm just moving into a new part of my life and this is how I've gotta do it

TOM
🥺🥺🥺

SEBASTIAN
I'm going to Denny's

TOM
for breakfast? aw sweet I wanna come

SEBASTIAN
you fOol, when have I EVER gone to Denny's for breakfast

SEBASTIAN
I'm going to CRY

TOM
that's ,, sad

SEBASTIAN
you think I don't KNOW THAT

MINNIE
oh my GOD get over urself

CHRIS
I don't think he can

MINNIE
probably true

MINNIE
eh

SEBASTIAN
maybe if u stopped trying to ruin my life every other week

MINNIE
if I wanted to ruin your life, believe me, I would've done it by now

MINNIE
stop acting like it's the end of an era, nobody's going anywhere

SEBASTIAN
still feels like it

MINNIE
I know

MINNIE
doesn't mean you get to be a little bitch about it though

SEBASTIAN
you're so MEAN

CHRIS
some things never change, seb

SEBASTIAN
>:( fINE

SEBASTIAN
you bring a couple together, help to lovingly form their relationship, and this is the thanks you get ,, I see how it is

MINNIE
for the LAST time you did NOT bring us together

SEBASTIAN
except that I absolutely did

MINNIE
okay whatever I've gotta go

MINNIE
see u guys soon

SEBASTIAN
maybe you will, maybe you won't

MINNIE
🙄

AUTHOR'S NOTE: one final messy gc ?? Seems like the perfect way to end this whole saga

Leave me any questions u have abt this little series and I'll reply with answers

I'll post the thank you note kinda thing tomorrow probs