FOOLS [2; CHRIS EVANS]

XXIV.

SEBASTIAN
who doesn't love a good GAME

SEBASTIAN
I love a good GAME

SEBASTIAN
don't the rest of you love a good GAME

SEBASTIAN
huh hUH

SEBASTIAN
???

MINNIE
you're being ignored for a reason, give up already

TOM
I feel like he's threatening us tbh

SEBASTIAN
would you like to play a GAME

ROBERT
n — no thank you

SEBASTIAN
pls it's a good GAME

ANTHONY
stop capitalising game

SEBASTIAN
okay okay — enough enough!

SEBASTIAN
I'll tell you about the GAME, already

MINNIE
oh thank god I was beginning to think you never would !!

LIZZIE
💀💀💀

SEBASTIAN
so it's a quiz show that I alone have devised

MARK
oh here we go

CHRIS
you have far too much spare time on your hands

SEBASTIAN
hosted by minnie with chris as judicator / peace keeper

MINNIE
suddenly I'm far more interested in this game 

SEBASTIAN
it's to see who knows minnie and chris the best

MINNIE
VERY INTERESTED

CHRIS
no what's the catch, there's always a catch

CHRIS
what's the con, what's the negative, the disadvantage

CHRIS
what do you WANT

SEBASTIAN
no catch, just me being a good friend and making what can be a stressful time much easier for two good friends!

CHRIS
oh my god what did you DO

SEBASTIAN
nothing!

CHRIS
sebastian —

MINNIE
babe no let the man speak, he has my attention

SEBASTIAN
hA!

SEBASTIAN
and the winner gets to be godparent to Minnie and Chris's baby!

CHRIS
we're not picking the person who becomes responsible for our only child should something happen to us through a game show that came out of YOUR MIND

MINNIE
idk I'm kinda down

CHRIS
ksksksks wHAT

MINNIE
well I mean —

MINNIE
people get mad if they don't get picked to be godparents and that kinda deal, but you can't get mad at US if the GAME decides

LIZZIE
she's right, you know

CHRIS
good god damn, this is BRILLIANT

CHRIS
I mean, seB YOUR MIND !!!!

TOM
w—when would this game be, asking for a friend

LIZZIE
deadass he's gonna make flashcards

TOM
and what about it

MINNIE
ksksksks i can'T WAIT TO SEE WHO'S BEEN PAYING ATTENTION TO MY ENDLESS RAMBLING FOR THE PAST TWO YEARS

ANTHONY
this is ridiculous

SEBASTIAN
don't be mad bc you didn't have this kinda genius in your life when you were having kids

ANTHONY
genius ,,,,,,, sure

MINNIE
if anyone wants me . . . DON'T!

MINNIE
I'll be busy putting together this quiz for the next two weeks and have time for nothing else xo

CHRIS
bUT we have baby books to reAD WE DON'T HAVE ENOUGH TIME TO LEARN EVERYTHING

MINNIE
we have five and a half months

CHRIS
NOT !! ENOUGH !! TIME !!

ROBERT
you think you're gonna learn what you need to know about babies by reading ?? gOOD LUCK

CHRIS
WHAT 😳

AUTHOR'S NOTE: this is turning into nothing but crack