Who you are

Knowing

"Hey, Y/N?" The boy turned his head in the direction his name was mentioned.

It had been a few days since the h/c libero had officially joined the team and everything was going alright. Coming from (country) he wasn't really used to the suffix in the Japanese culture, so he had asked the volleyball team to just drop it whenever they addressed his name, which all of them agreed with. He had also let them use his first name as well. Some was a bit skeptical to this, but most of them thought it was fine.

Yep, everything was going great.

Except Tanaka's remark on the first day. Even though Y/N tried to not, it really bothered him.

"Yeah? What's up, Sugawara-san?" He replied politely back, gaining a small chuckle from his senpai.

"Hey, I told you, it's alright to just call me Suga." The setter gave the boy a smile. Y/N simply shrugged in reply. "Anyways Y/N, are you alright? You seem ... distracted." Sugawara had a worried look on his face. The first year waved a s/c hand dismissevly at his upperclassmen, giving him a slight smile.

"It's nothing. Don't think about it."

"Are you sure?-"

"Alright everyone! That's the end of today's practise. Good work!" Daichi announced, grabbing the attention of everyone in the gym. They all replied in an 'Osu!' before starting to clean up.

The libero left the third year's side as he began to pick up some stray volleyballs nearby. Though, he failed to notice the sigh Sugawara let out before cleaning up as well.

Y/N had gone into the changing room before any of the others could get there. Quickly changing clothes, he put on a f/c shirt and some comfy f/c trousers. Somehow it felt wrong to be there. Everyone was nice to him, especially Sugawara, but Ryuu's words were still eating away his little confidence.

"Damn it. Stop thinking. Just stop it Y/N.- Stop.-" A tear ran down his cheek. The h/c haired boy was uncertain to why he felt like this. Perhaps it was because he didn't feel like he fit in, his insecurities taking over or just everything crashing down on him. It had only been a week with new people, new school, new environment, culture, country. It was a lot to take in.

Hearing voices from outside, Y/N quickly gathered all his stuff and pulled at his bangs to cover his blank eyes. He opened the door and stormed out, almost knocking someone over. He muttered a low 'sorry' before rushing past them. He didn't know where he was going, only hoping that - whoever they were - they hadn't noticed his returning tears.

But one of them had, and was now looking more worried than formerly. "I'll be back." Sugawara stated before taking after his underclassman, whichever direction that was. The sudden leave made Tanaka and Daichi exchange a confused look.

The silver haired boy followed after as far he had seen Y/N stormed off to. He looked around the area, hearing soft sobs and hics from behind the gym. With slow and quiet steps, Sugawara let the soft sound of someone crying lead him forwards. Turning a corner he spotted Y/N. He was curled up in a ball with his back to the building and his head resting on top of his knees.

"Y/N..." He mumbled softly, closening the gap between them. The h/c didn't answer, but the sobs quieted down.

The setter knelt down in front of the first year. "What's wrong?" He asked gently in an attempt to comfort the crying boy, but his only reply were some soft hics. "Y/N, please tell me if something is bothering you. Let me help."

"...It's no- othing." The e/c eyed didn't look up to meet his senpai's. His voice sounded clouded as he quietly spoke. "It's just... what Tanaka said- back then." He pulled his knees closer to his chest. "I know he didn't- indicate anything rude by it-." He continued to speak to his senpai. He didn't know why. Sugawara just felt safe. "But still..." Y/N fell quiet again.

A warm hand was placed on top of the h/c haired's head. Somehow it worked. Y/N's crying calmed down ever so slightly. "...It's going to be alright Y/N. You know Tanaka didn't mean any harm." Sugawara reassured him.

"Hey Suga..?" The older replied with a small hum, encouraging the kouhai to go on. "...Can you... keep a secret?" Sugawara replied with a second hum. "And ...please don't hate me..." Koshi's eyes widened at the last request. He was clearly caught off guard. "I promise. I could never hate you, Y/N." His voice was gentle, yet serious in his sure answer.

He hesitated to continue. Y/N was clearly hesitating, but Sugawara didn't rush him. The younger boy took a deep breath before starting to tell the vice captain about his case. Sugawara didn't say a single word while he was telling him his secret, knowing it probably took a lot of him to only speak right now. The ball he had curled himself into was slowly loosening up and the hics were fading more and more away.

When he finally finished, a pair of reassuring arms was wrapped around him. "I could never hate you." The setter repeated. Tears ran down the libero's s/c cheeks again, but this time for another reason.

A rustle was heard together with quick footsteps towards them. "Hey Suga-san, what's takin' so long-?" Tanaka stopped in his tracks when he saw the state Y/N was in. Sugawara released the smaller male from the hug, but didn't move away his hand from his h/c hair.

"What's going on here?" The second year walked closer. He sounded genuinely concerned.

Not knowing if he should send away Tanaka or not, Koshi remained quiet, only glancing over at the first year with worry.

"...You can tell him." The shortest of the trio quietly spoke up. "Are you sure...?" The silver haired received a slow nod. Returning the gesture - even though Y/N couldn't see it due to keeping his head down - the third year turned to the delinquent-looking wing spiker. Sugawara took a deep breath before he began to explain the situation while Tanaka was quietly listening throughout the whole story.

"Remember, it's a secret between the three of us until Y/N is ready to tell the others. So let's have his back until then." The older placed his index finger over his lips to underline his statement.

Ryuu nodded understanding. "That's really man, y'know." Tanaka gave his kouhai a light pat on the back, trying to cheer him up. "And I'm sorry 'bout what I said earlier. Man, wish I could kick my one-week-ago-self!"

"...Thanks, Senpai..." For the first time since all this, Y/N finally looked up at them. "Thank you both..." Offered a hand by Tanaka, Y/N hesitated for a moment before accepting it. With stiff legs, the trio began to make their way in silence. The quietness left room to think as the first year began to wonder. 'Two had taken it alright... But how will the rest of the team take it?'