aTRACKion

Chapter Forty Eight

Doug....

How can you love something so much, when you've only just met them?

My little girl is only a few hours old, but those few hours have given her just enough time to completely fill and complete my world.

I just keep staring at her. I keep trying to understand how much she already means to me. I keep wondering whether this is all some insane but totally awesome dream.

But the only one who is now dreaming—is Frankie.

After a long soak in the bath, and trying to give our little princess her first ever breastfeed, the love of my life is now getting some much-needed sleep before her family and Nancy arrive to welcome our new and adorable addition to the world.

My captivated eyes keep flitting from our baby girl, to Frankie. I keep gazing at her while she sleeps, loving her from where I sit with our child being cradled in my arms.

We created this human.

We are now parents.

Before now, before the birth of our daughter, I'll admit that dark doubt would sometimes cast a worrying shadow over some of my thoughts. Dark doubt, would sometimes try to invade my life.

There were moments when it would crawl into my thoughts about Frankie's pregnancy. Moments that would make me question so many things. The biggest worry I had, was whether there would be enough room in my heart to love a child as much as I loved her mother?

Staring down at my daughter, I just smile to myself. The answer is right here and now on my face...yes, there is more than enough room in my heart for this beautiful child.

Stroking her cherub-like cheeks, I smile again. I don't think my heart is now able to remember how it felt before every vessel and artery became so very full of the love that I have for this baby girl. All 6lbs 6oz's of her, is now more loved than I ever thought possible.

Fatherhood came so naturally to my father, I think I am already following in his footsteps. Holding my newborn daughter in my arms, just feels so very right. In my protective hold, I feel a new completeness settling inside of me. Looking away from my sleeping baby angel, I look at my other sleeping angel.

Childbirth has completely exhausted my girl, but she still looks so beautiful to me. While I continue to quietly cradle our content child, I couldn't feel more proud of the woman who sleeps beside me. Inhaling a slow and satisfied breath, I wonder whether this is how my parents felt when they first had me? Did they feel the same sense of pride for each other and for the tiny human being that they had both managed to create together?

I believe so.

In my heart, I truly believe my parents did.

Exhaling a little harder, I just wish they both could have been here to see this day. But I guess, both of my parents are still a part of me. Which means that they are now a part of my precious daughter. I'll keep holding onto that thought. I'll remember that when I get those moments of wishing that they could still be here, because in some weird and wonderful way...they already are.

Our little girl is going to be so loved. She is going to learn all that she needs to know about my parents. All that they both taught me, I shall teach my little girl. She will learn about history, music, the arts and travelling. She will live and breathe new experiences, new cultures and see the beauty of so much that surrounds us.

Frankie and I have brought her into our world, we will both ensure that she sees that world.

As I sit and imagine all that's excitingly in store for us all, I hear Frankie beginning to wake beside me. Watching her trying to open her eyes, I smile at the sleepy, sweet sight of her. I have been waiting for her to wake. I have been waiting for this moment. Waiting for it, for what now feels like a really long time.