aTRACKion

Chapter Thirty Two

I need to keep myself occupied.

I need to keep my mind interested in other things, instead of constantly missing Doug.

Since his birthday, I have been missing him terribly.

Sure, we message each other regularly and all that, but it's not the same as actually being with him, is it?

On Thursday, knowing that Doug was busy seeing his mum before boarding a plane that was bound for a sunny Ibiza, I decided to work on Hear The Chant again. Although Doug thinks that it's now studio ready, I think I was just trying to find weaknesses in my vocals, because anything was better than constantly thinking about him being somewhere else other than being with me.

I know, I've got this whole love thing real bad, don't I?

By the time Thursday night came, I needed to burn off some of my anxious energy, so I went to Zumba. It certainly helped. It temporarily took the edge off my persistent pining.

"Off to Clubbercise, love?" Mum has her head peeping around the dividing door.

It's now Friday evening, and I'm sooooo ready to sweat out some more of my pathetic pining of Doug. "Yeah, just going now." With a small smile at mum, I eagerly grab my curve bum bag and water bottle.

"Heard from Doug?" She asks, almost warily asks.

"Yeah, he messaged me earlier." Is my very hurried reply. Mum truly isn't helping me with my not-thinking-about-Doug-for-more-than-five-minutes plan.

"And he's okay, is he?"

It's kind of sweet that mum is so concerned about my boyfriend, as I know she's taken quite a shine to him, but I really don't have the time to talk about that sweet concern right this very second. "He's fine, Mum."

Nodding slightly, she smiles. "It's just he mentioned that he was going to see his mum yesterday, and because you've not said anything, I was just wondering if it went okay?" That's when I realise just how deep the sweet concern for Doug truly runs for my mum. Having watched her own mother suffer with dementia, I think it makes mum feel like she and Doug now share some emotional common ground.

Instead of being in a hurry for my own selfish reasons, I rush towards my dearest mum. "I think he is fine." Smiling widely, I gently rest my hand on mum's as it still holds onto the dividing door. "The main thing is that he is seeing his mum. He finds it so hard, but he's doing it." Although Doug had said that there was no miraculous change in his mother when he saw her yesterday, he looked and sounded calm about it during our Skype conversation late last night.

"I certainly remember how hard it was, but I also knew that in the long run, it would have been so much harder if I had stayed away." Mum quietly tells me, her smile now fading from sight.

Agreeing, I softly nod. "I think Doug finally realises that himself, Mum." I could also add that I think he has finally accepted that he has to stop fighting the Alzheimer's, but I really don't have the time to talk at length about this with my mother. I know that Doug's constant fighting of it, was so miserably draining for him. But I know that I heard acceptance in his voice last night—I know he is starting to accept that it's a fight he will sadly never win.

Again, she warmly smiles my way. "I'm glad he has." She then glances over at my clock on the wall, becoming suddenly aware of the time. "I'm sorry, love, I'm going to make you late for your class."

"Yes, I had better dash!" I hate running late, so I hurry past my mum and rush through the main house and leave via the front door. In seconds, I am starting my car and sticking on some high energy dance tunes to get me pumped up for my Clubbercise class.