need you | g.d.

3 - monster

kiara - midnight

my heart soars every time i think about how he touched me. his fingers so delicately grabbing my chin, but almost forceful at the same time. like he wanted to see the girl pushing a baby around in a stroller. the young mom.

he froze when he saw me. just like my world froze when we made eye contact for that split second before i broke it. not daring to show him that it was me.

he looked at bailey and immediately i remembered she was there. almost like i forgot about her until he noticed. i wonder what he thought about her.

the low hum of the tv is the only sound in my bedroom as i sit straight up against the headboard and stare.

he's here. he's in california and there's no escaping it.

  my phone vibrates. why the hell did my phone vibrate? no one ever texts me. i blocked all of my family members including grayson. only person i didn't block was ethan.

  i pick my phone up quickly unlocking it and clicking on my text messages.

  just who i thought. ethan freaking dolan.

  i open his text and my eyes scan over it.

ethan: was that really you today?

  my eyebrows knit together. the fuck you mean "was that really you today?"

  yes you dumb bitch it was. i don't type back anything. the little bubble with three dots pops up meaning he is typing something. after a little bit it goes away. guess he wasn't typing something that important.

  just as i am about to set my phone down the bubbles reappear. i sigh and pick my phone back up.

  his text comes through.

ethan: grayson's a mess
ethan: i don't believe you truly know how much you hurt him

  his words hit deeper than they should have. i hurt grayson. i destroyed him and now he'll never feel the same way that i do about him. ever again.

  i type my reply and my thumb hesitated over the send button.

  i still love him.

  i send it and lock my phone before setting it down on my night stand. he won't believe me. he won't believe that i still love grayson.

he thinks i hurt him badly, well it hurt me too. my parents would have never respected my decision to keep this baby, especially since i'm supposed to be already married to jacob.

gross. to even think that right now, if i hadn't left, i would be married to that slob.

i curl into a ball on my side.

my eyes shut but i don't sleep. my head pounds with the thought of grayson actually being here. how'd he find me? most importantly, does he still feel the same way i do?

  "grayson, grayson wait!" i yell.

  the disappearing figure turns around.

  "i don't wait around for sluts like you."

  my face scrunches together and my voice comes out small. "you don't mean that."

  he keeps talking. "i don't love you, kiara, i never have and i never will. i just needed a god damn tutor. you're a monster and i can't believe you would ever do this to me. do you know how much pain i went through?"

  i stay silent.

  "exactly. you don't because you only care about yourself."

  "that's not true," i mumble. "i love you."

  "no you don't."

  and with that he's gone.

  a loud sob escapes my lips and i'm quick to cover it; no need to wake the baby.

  a light reflects off the ceiling and i glance over at my phone. ethan again.

  i look at the text.

ethan: who's baby?

shit. how do i answer that question.

two words: i don't.

i let it sit. it vibrates again letting me know i have an unchecked message. i turn it on do not disturb and force myself to lay down. i wipe the tears and snot that seems to fall endlessly from my face nowadays.

we will become in our lives whoever the people we love the most say we are.

and i'm a monster. grayson said it himself.

a/n: woohooo i love this already!!! i hope you guys are enjoying it as much as i am bye ily all
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-el