need you | g.d.

2 - oh my god

kiara - tuesday

the cries. they cut through the silent morning air, creating almost this sense of dread.

sometimes i wish he was here to tell me to not to worry about it, that he'd get her. but he's not and i'm well adjusted to the morning routine of getting up and cradling her back to sleep.

it's 4 am. the usual time when bailey decides its time to wake up herself and me.

i carefully walk down the dimly lit hallway and into the nursery. her arms are up in the air swinging around and her eyes widen when i walk in.

she suddenly stops and i pick her up balancing in her on my hip and walking back to my room. i grab the dock-a-tot and place it next to me setting her in it. she moves around, looking everywhere.

her lip quivers and i place a kiss to her forehead. her eyes droop and i caress her cheek as i watch her fall asleep.

finally i'm able to get some more sleep. my eyes shut.

there's a pounding to my front door. "kiara! i know you're in there, open the damn door!"

it's my mom's voice, piercing through the air like a needle.

i stand there frozen in place as i watch an exact version of me walk to the front door, frantically but hesitantly opening the door.

her wicked face looks even more unholy than before. her hands are on her hips. eyebrows arched.

a slap to my clone's cheek but i can feel it. it stings like never before, almost hot, like fire.

my father comes up behind her and walks into my apartment like he owns the place.

"where is it?" he shouts.

"where's what?" i raise my voice with him.

"oh don't play stupid you dumb whore. where's the baby?" my mom joins in causing my eyes to shut.

"i don't know what you're talking about!"

"tana told us everything; about how you left because you were pregnant with some boys baby and that you were here in california."

bailey cries. shit.

"so it's true," my father says walking towards the cry.

i run after him grabbing onto his shoulder. "don't you dare fucking touch her."

he continues to walk towards the nursery. i scream.

sweat drips down my forehead and i roll over on my pillow to wipe it away. i glance at bailey and she's sound asleep.

the alarm clock next to my bed reads 8:02. crazy how four hours of sleep can feel like only two seconds of unconsciousness.

i carefully stand up and walk out of the room to make coffee. it's the one thing that's keeps me awake. i brew a whole pot.

i pour it into a blue mug and carry it back into my room where bailey is laying. i sit down next to her and watch as her eyes slowly squint and her mouth forms a sour look.

i pick her up delicately and place her in my arms swaddling back and forth. she slowly opens her eyes and smiles when she sees my face.

i make a few funny faces and place her on my propped up legs to grab her hands and swing them around. she giggles and i smile at the thought of how beautiful she is.

i wish her dad knew about her. i don't know how'd he react though. probably leave like everybody in my life, not give a damn. i've probably scarred him.

i finish tying the laces of my tennis shoe before pulling my leggings up from falling down. the adidas long sleeve i'm wearing hugs my chest, my boobs a little bigger from my pregnancy.

i grab the stroller and pick bailey up from her high chair, setting her in the lay-down stroller and pushing her out the front door.

i do this almost every week day morning. bailey and i go for a walk or run; pretty much whatever i'm feeling.

  i walk us to the park, enjoying the scenery and lightly smiling to people as they pass. a little girl comes up and asks to look at bailey; her mom soon
comes up behind her and steers her the other direction with a smile.

  i keep pushing the stroller around the park and then we're on the sidewalk of the city, walking past the many different boutiques and stores: louis vuitton, gucci, best buy.

  the door to best buy opens right as i'm walking in front of it.

  the man laughs and continues to walk almost knocking over bailey's stroller. suddenly he turns around and immediately stops, apologizing almost a thousand times.

  and that's when my whole world stops. i freeze and my hands grip on the handles. i put my face down. this can't be happening.

  "i'm so sorry," he says placing his hand on my shoulder.

  i shudder and keep my head down. "uh, it's fine."

grayson

  "e, we gotta get a new camera," i say walking down the sidewalk and into best buy.

  the guy at the counter greets us and we walk back to the cameras wandering around trying to find the best one. ours broke on the flight down here and to say ethan was pissed would be the least.

  once we found the right camera ethan took it to the register to pay and i waited beside him. we're finished and i swing the glass door open, laughing at something stupid that ethan had said.

  "woah, watch out," ethan mutters as i turn around to suddenly stop.

  "oh my god, i'm sorry," i say looking towards the girl and her baby.

  she looks familiar but i can't see her face; she keeps it down.

  "i'm so sorry," i apologize again, putting my hand on her shoulder.

  "uh, it's fine," she says and immediately i freeze.

  my hand grips her shoulder tightly and i force myself to let go.

  this can't be happening.

  "grayson, you good?" ethan asks and i tilt the girl's head up with her chin.

  her eyes look red and shes drained but something about being here is making me calm. my nerves aren't through the roof and something inside me wants to kiss her.

  i don't. instead my eyes look to the baby whose dark brown curls and wide green eyes draw my attention.

  "i have to go," she says running away while pushing the stroller in front of her.

  "bro, was that kiara?" ethan asks from behind me.

  i nod my head still in shock.

  she's here.

a/n: this is a sequel to the first book 'judge me' so i highly recommend reading that first if you haven't... ok bye love you. didn't realize this until now but it would be two years after high school graduation bc bailey is nine months and kiara was only a month pregnant when she left. sooo i messed up once again
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-el