need you | g.d.

9 - oddly happy

grayson

i pulled up to ethan and i's apartment building. a smile still playing on my face from today's precious events. i sit the driver's seat, my head in my hands as i stare at the speedometer.

i decide after five minutes of sitting there that i should probably get out.

i pull my keys out as i walk down the hallway towards our front door. ethan greets me by standing in the doorway as i swing the door open. his arms over his chest and an unexplainable look plastered on his smug face.

"what?" i ask trying to hold back my smile that hasn't seemed to end yet today.

"you seem happy," he refers to my bubbly state.

i shrug my shoulders. i don't even know how to tell him that i have a child and that he's been an uncle for almost ten months now.

"so, uh, i have some exciting news," i say leaving him in the doorway as i walk into the kitchen.

"oh yeah? what could that be?" he asks curious as to what i could be hiding.

the smile is back on my face.

"bro, what the fuck is wrong with you? you're so—so oddly happy," he remarks grabbing out some orange juice.

i'm about to start talking when he drops the closed carton on the ground. "shit! we forgot to film today!"

oh, fuck. with everything going on i forgot about the fans. how are they going to react to this? how's ethan going to react to this?

he darts out of the kitchen and down the hall towards the spare room that holds all of our camera equipment. minutes later he's back with a tripod and the camera. he sets it up and looks at me.

"what should we film?" he asks forgetting about my important news i had to tell him.

"dude, it's almost eleven, do we have to do this tonight? why don't we just do this tomorrow?" i ask tired and worn out.

  "because remember?" he says trying to point out the obvious.

  i raise my eyebrows and shake my head. what was i supposed to remember?

  "we're posting twice a week now! we have to do a video tonight because i'll have to edit it tomorrow for friday," he says turning the camera on and focusing it to our stance in the kitchen.

"ethan, we don't even have any ideas," i complain seeing as my big news reveal got kicked to the side.

"gray, we have to film something," he says in a duh tone making me roll my eyes.

"what do you have in mind?" i ask giving up.

i guess it'll just have to wait for now.

after countless attempts of filming the just-right video ethan stands up after the outro shutting the camera off and walking towards his bedroom with it.

i hear him curse as he connects the camera to his computer and his mouse click a few times.

"e?" i ask careful not to annoy him anymore than he already is.

i lean against the doorway and he spins around in his chair.

"yeah?"

"um, so about that news that i wanted to tell you," i start and am cut off by ethan's computer beeping, signaling that the video is fully downloaded.

he turns back towards his desk. "you were saying?"

i notice how busy he is and sigh, he won't pay attention right now, especially when he is busy.

"uh, never mind," i say walking away from his room and into mine.

i change into some sweats and take my shirt off plopping onto my bed. i'm mentally and physically drained.

i'm drifting off to sleep when i hear my door swing open almost silently.

"gray?" ethan's voice draws me awake. "i'm sorry i should have been listening earlier. i interrupted you when you were going to share something big, i'm assuming, and i feel like a dick. so want to tell me about your date—um, i mean, if that's what you want to calm it."

i sit up in bed and ethan takes a sit against the headboard next to me. i shrug my shoulders not really feeling the motivation to tell him everything,

"you spent almost all day with her, there's gotta be something that happened that was interesting."

you have no idea, i thought.

"yeah, some things happened—."

"oh my god! did you guys have sex?" he asks almost instantly making my jaw drop.

"no," i state as a fact. "and if we were to, why would it concern you?"

he chuckles, "sorry for jumping to conclusions. i'll let you talk now."

"god, ethan, i don't even know how to say this. i don't know how you're going to react and i'm scared. this could ruin everything for us—our career, our future, our dreams. dude, i'm nervous as fuck right now."

he nods his head although his face reads just how confused he is. "i don't understand..."

"ethan, before kiara left she and i obviously had strong feelings for each other. so, we, um, acted upon those feelings, once or twice maybe. that's why kiara left. not because she didn't love me—she did and still does—but because she was pregnant."

his eyes widen and he stares at the bed sheets below him. "y-you have a kid?"

"she left because she was supposed to be marrying jacob after graduation. she couldn't even think about raising another mans baby while marrying into an arranged marriage with some stranger and she left. so yes, i have a kid. a daughter to be exact."

he sighed long and hard, placing his head in his hands. "grayson, how are we going to tell the fans about his?"

  i'm quick to react. "we don't."

  "gray, they are going to find out somehow, they have a way of finding out everything. plus i'm assuming you'll be getting back together with kiara and god knows what you guys will do in public. with a baby as well!"

  i stand up abruptly. "i shouldn't have even said anything."

  "where are you going?" he asks drawing me back in.

  because in all honesty i don't know where i'm going. i turn back around.

  "nowhere," i say jumping on my bed facedown.

  "whatever, you need to get your shit together man," ethan says before leaving my room and shutting my door.

  what am i supposed to do?

a/n: ughhhhh finally i decided to write bc i had the motivation. lately i've been feeling like shit and my whole family doesn't help with the situation...they are just so freaking oblivious. it's whatever but hope you enjoy bye loves
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-el <3