need you | g.d.

21 - slow motion

kiara

"alright, i'm leaving," i call from where i stand near the front door.

grayson stands up from the couch in the living room and walks towards me, his bare back and chest muscles flexing. his sweatpants ride low on his waist and his hair is messy. he looks so fucking sexy.

he places his hands on my hips and leans close to my ear. "have fun, okay?"

  i hum in response. "i love you."

  "love you too," he replies. "do you want me to help you with her?"

  he motions towards bailey who is asleep in her carrier. i shrug my shoulders. "i've got her."

  "whatever you say," he smiles and shuts the door as i exit the house and walks towards my car.

the carrier handle becomes sweaty in my palm and i readjust my grip every couple seconds. i strap bailey in the back and plop myself in the driver's seat. my nerves take over and i stare at the dash board in front of me for a few minutes, bailey's slight cooing breaking me from my daze.

she babbles on throughout the entire ride and i can't help but try and focus on what i'm going to say to tana.

i mean what should i say?

  thank you and i'm sorry for blocking you out of my life?

  i guess it sounds better than saying nothing at all. i pull up outside of red mango, not recognizing any of the cars around the small froyo and smoothie parlor parking lot. i grab my hand bag from the passenger seat and then get out of the car.

i unbuckle bailey and wobble my way around to get her bulky car seat out. she giggles a little and i'm too nervous to really laugh, or even smile for that matter.

the bell above the door jingles as bailey and i make our way in. a short, skinny teenager behind the counter greets me with a peppy smile.

"hi! welcome to red mango, what can i get for you?" the small girl asks, her smile never faltering.

"hi," i say with a short smile. "i'll just do the pineapple zen juice and small açaí bowl, please."

she smiles, grabbing a clear cup with the words red mango on the front in red bold letters. she marks it with a few letters and then passes it on to the middle aged man making the juices and smoothies.

"your total is 12.98, is this cash or card?" she speaks up and i glance back at her.

"card."

i slide my card in the chip reader and after a few seconds the obnoxious beep sounds signaling me to remove it.

"alright, here's your receipt and your order will be up over there. have a nice day!" she smiles again, handing me my receipt and motioning towards the end of the counter.

i smile, shortly and reply, "thanks, you too."

i pick the carrier up off the ground again and walk towards the end of the counter. bailey starts to coo and i gaze down at her before reaching a hand down and caressing her cheek.

"just a few more minutes, bails. okay?" i stares and she stares at me for a second before grabbing my hand and trying to put it in her mouth.

"pineapple zen juice and blueberry açaí!" the middle aged man from earlier calls out, placing my order near the front of the counter.

  i thank him before grabbing bailey and i's stuff and walking back to our table.

  the bell above the entrance door rings and i swear everything plays in slow motion from then on. her head is hung down at first, staring at her phone. she glances up and that's when she notices me. and for a fraction of a second i swear i see her big eyes light up. my heart thumps in my chest.

her strides toward me seem to last forever as i just wish she would be here already.

"hey," she smiles at me and i swear i don't know how to feel.

happy? excited? scared? how about all of them at once.

"hi," i reply shortly, nervously tucking a strand of my hair behind my ear. her eyes trail over to bailey and i think i choke on my spit.

"is this bailey?" she bends down to her level, her index finger tracing bailey's hairline and twirling one of her many curls.

"yeah," i answer, trying my hardest to make this all seem normal. i don't know how to control myself.

"she's beautiful, kiki," she says as she stares at my baby.

my heart sort of lurches when she calls me by my old nickname.

i smile, my cheeks a little pink. "thank you."

bailey just stares around the small smoothie shop and i sip my pineapple zen juice to relief some of the anxiety that is making it's way into my body.

"so," she sighs, scooting out the chair across from me and taking a seat. "enough with the small talk. i see you are getting married."

my eyes instinctively glance down towards the diamond ring on my finger and i smile.

"yeah, i never realized how much i missed him until i saw him for the first time since he moved here," i say with a cheeky smile.

she looks at me in admiration and we talk for what seems like hours until i finally muster up the courage to ask her the question that i've been wanting to.

  "you never told anyone about where i was, right?" i nearly stumble over my words.

her eyebrows furrow and she looks confused. a good sign maybe?

"kiara, even though we weren't as close then i would never betray you like that, you were—and still are—one of my closest friends and i didn't ever—and never do—plan on taking our friendship for granted."

her statement makes my heart soar and all of a sudden i'm so happy.

  "that means a lot, tana, you have no idea, really. and i hate to make accusations but i just needed to make sure," i say trying not to mention much.

  "what for?" she asks and i know i've been slightly busted.

  "my mom and dad showed up at my house," i say in a mumble. "i don't know how they found me. i blocked them and changed my number and everything but they still somehow managed to show up and raise hell."

  her face contorts in almost anger. "i can't believe it. did they know about bailey?"

  "i guess jacob found my pregnancy test, which was obviously positive, and he gave it to my parents. god only knows how they probably flipped their shit," i nervously chuckle.

  her face remains blank. "that's awful."

  "yeah, but grayson was there to help me and i honestly couldn't thank him more," i smile at the thought of grayson.
 
  just remembering his laugh and smile can instantly cheer me up.

* * *

  "well, i'm really happy we got together," i say after i finish both my juice and the little bit left of bailey's açaí bowl.

  "yeah, stay in touch and don't be a stranger," tana smiles before pulling me into a hug and squeezing me tight.  "you really have changed, kiara—a good change, though, a more      mom-like change."

  we both laugh after she winks and i pick up bailey's carrier in my hand.

  "alright, well, i'll see you later?" i ask as we both slowly walk towards the exit.

  "you will," tana replies and with that we both go our separate ways to our separate cars.

  and i couldn't be any happier than right now.

a/n: hey hey hey it's been a longgg while...but i'm back and i think better than ever hahah lol ok thank you for waiting and ilyasm <3333

-el