for ever alone

chapter 5(edited)

Alex p. O. V

Rolling out off bed needing food i jump into a pear off basket ball short heading out my door to the kitchen when i have this heart stopping feeling like iv  just lost someone But Iv already lost everyone I need ? 

The kitchen is empty lifeless weird she usually up limping around with the food looking like a idiot for limping. where the fucking is she
" Sophera you ugly bitch make me some food"
I shout while sitting down waiting for her ,I know I shouldn't treat her like this but if she didnt drag us to that stupid flower garden it would be so much different I would have my parents the only people I love and care for the only people that i could count on!
" Sophera"

Banging on the basement door to be honest I never actually been in her room since we kicked her down there 8 years ago, well just after my parents death.
Looking back at my phone I see the time but also the date Shit it was her birthday yesterday shit I forgot. oh well not like i care ?

Waiting for a reply i didn't get thats it iv had enough off this shit wait till I get my hands in her im going to make her wish she answered me!
I storm in to her room when i stop in my tracks stunned an scared for the first time in years, i look around an it looks lifeless like no one is heres she can't be in a different basement because we only have one so she has to be in here somewhere hiding?

  
Running to her closet I whip it open expecting to see her in there but nothing except dirt and dust with a first aid boxes scattered on floor near the back open with bloody tissue an bandages i make my way over to her desk I see 2 letters on for me and one for alpha Lucifer I open mine carouse

 
Dear Alex my brother.
I love you and always will your my brother I'm so sorry for causing you so much pain and hated, your right I should off die instead off them and every day that pass I wish I could take there place because I wouldn't think twice before switching places with them so you had your parents back. I'm so sorry I killed them, i deserve every single beating off you and the apha.  I'm sorry I kept your parents away from you when you need them the most. Iv left something in my closest for you to remind you that I still love you even though you don't love me.  I love you brother for ever and always over every sea and land.
From sophera rose x
Screaming I punch every wall in her room ,She couldn't off left she cant leave me !

 
I feel my life drain from my body I feel nothing numb empty and hole, It feels worse than my parents death, they had no choice they died protecting me and Sophera.
I drove sophera to leave I beaten her to leave She should be here with me her brother but I had to driver her away I turn my back on the only family I have left i never once toke her felling into consideration.

i have my back to the door when i hear the last person i wanna see   
"What with all the noise"
Lucifer stode there looking around rubbing his head. I might off beaten her but he deserves a right good punch from me!
"She gone,  she fucking gone"
Standing up I pace the floor trying to figure out if there is anywhere in the house she could be hiding 
" Who's gone "
The clueless fucker I know he was her mate and they mated I can smell the scents mix making it easier to do what i wanted to do since he entered the room i  Stroll up to him punching him in the face as hard as i could mustering up all the strength i have left 
" Sophera gone she fucking gone not coming back because off me"
Sliding down wall again resting arms on my knees. I look up to see him looking around for any sign off life in here he has more chance looking in the grave yard!
" She left you a letter"
Basically running to the dresser he rips open the letter without another thought.

As he reads I see the the regret and anger in his eyes the pain he caused her comes eeping out off his eyes an the way he is slowly back up to the wall an how his left hand is now in a fist getting tighter, Serves you right prick.

 
Seeing him Sliding down wall next to me I see he is crying tears falling from her angry blazing eyes .
wow I have seen him cry since my parents death. 

 
Snatching my letter reading it trying to see is she left any clue where she went or direction she might off gone . She didn't or I wouldn't be sat here like a dick wondering weather shes alive or not!  
He suddenly gets up repeating the words shit an Sin, leaving me with my letter and a drawing she draw off us  in a flower field smiling with a picture on back the writing forever my brother. 
Getting up and going to my room putting the picture in a photo frame on my dresk right next to my alarm.  I feel tiers on my cheek an i just let them fall for everything iv done everything iv said how could i be so dam mean an hurt full to the only person i had left who loved me.

 
The pain she went through I didn't ever wondered how she felt about our parents death she was only 8 8 for fuck sake an yet i punished for something she had no control over, I was just to busy taking my anger of my parents death on her which isnt a excuse. she was fucking 8 man.
we all used to be so fucking close we went everywhere together me Lucifer and sophera did everything together i knew they were mates the moment he became well to protective over her more than me to over protective .

our parents would go on about how they were going to be mates but they would bicker about why they wouldnt an affend each other it was amusing to watch and to wind Lucifer up but i nkow deep down they both new but didnt want to say anything just incase they did actually have different mates.

 
I remember a time we was at school I think we was 2 grade well I was Sophera in 1 grade , there was a new boy who instantly toke a interest in sophera and Lucifer would get pissed off when ever he spoke to her or even looked at her, one day he asked sophera if she wanted to have tea at his but like a alpha Lucifer got all motcho man on him making sure to keep sophera away I mean she didn't let him off lightly for it he did get a ear full off her but hey it was funny he said that hes going to be future Alpha so he had to make sure she was protected even though he wasnt yet bullshit if you ask me he just didnt like other males having her attention.

 
when even he got told off by Sophera he was like a lost puppy wanting her attention all the time and wanting to be near her so when she did tell him of all she had to do was ignore him or lock her self away so he couldnt be near her i mean she was a clever girl she new just how to punish him.
God how I wish I could go back and protect her and start all over again. 
I go to bed thinking off all the things I did to my sister and the fact no matter what I have down she still loves me me. I never stopped loving her I just burred it's deep in side and let my anger take over. 
Will I ever see her again.