How did I get here?

Chapter 48

"Let's sit down," Aspen says leading as all over to the large couch in the corner of the room. I'm sitting in the middle of Maxon and Aspen, and I'm suddenly very nervous about what Aspen has to say.
"I want to stay as calm as possible about this," Aspen starts, this makes me even more worried.
"Okay," I say.
"Why on earth would you show that security footage on national tv?!" Aspen says.
"I gave him permission," I say.
Aspen runs a hand through his hair and I can tell he is stressed.
"You let your personal life get plastered all over national tv?" He asks.
"I just wanted the world to know the truth," I say.
"So touching a sensitive subject was honestly the best way to do that Maxon?" Aspen says.
"That was the best footage we had, I didn't mean to cause any trouble."
"Okay," is all Aspen says and I can tell he is stressed as he runs a hand through his short hair. "I just worry about you Mer."
"It's getting better, it's just a hard reminder."
Aspen and Maxon both put their arms around me and we sit in silence for a moment.
"At least it's over," I whisper.
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That night I'm about to climb into bed when there is a knock at the door.
"Come in," I say and Maxon comes in.
"Look I'm sorry about the report," he starts.
"It's not your fault you just wanted to do what's best."
"I know, but I played the clip with your baby and everything I'm so sorry," he says coming to sit over on the bed next to me.
"It's hard, it always will be and I need to face it."
"But not on national television," he says.
"Maybe not, but it took care of Ms.Dobbs."
"Hopefully," he says and he looks down at his lap and I grab his hand.
"I grew up with a lot of hardship I can get through this."
"I feel like I made it worse," he says.
"Possibly, but it's good to remember it once in a while."
I look at him in the eyes and I see the dark circles under his eyes, he looks like he hasn't slept in days.
"You need to sleep," I say.
"I can't yet I still have work," he says.
"To bad, go to bed; that's an order."
"Are you already trying to play the queen card?" He says.
"Go," I say.
"Okay," He says and gets up and walks to the door, but before he leaves he looks back at me. I shoo him away and he cracks a small smile and walks out.
I fall asleep quickly, feeling hopeful for tomorrow.
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I wake up to a knock at my door.
"Come in," I say groggily.
"Hey," I hear Aspens voice say.
"Hey," I say sitting up.
"How are you feeling this morning?"
"A lot better," I say.
"Good, because I really do worry about you Mer."
"I know, I'm trying to move on."
"You deserve too," Aspen says and I can hear the sincerity in his voice.
"Speaking of moving on, how is Lucy?"
He smiles just at the mention of her name.
"Good," He says.
"And.... give me a little detail."
"Why do you think you need to know all about my love life?" He asks jokingly.
"Because I was your love life for two year."
"I've thought about proposing," he says so casually.
"What," I basically scream. "It took you long enough."
"Hey I wanted to make sure she was here for the long run."
"When?" I ask.
"I don't know all I said was I was thinking about it."
"Ugg," I say and flop back down on the bed. "Why won't you just stop dragging your feet?"
"Things change and people change so fast, I'm terrified."
I understood that, I blamed that fear on me.
"Well I think you should just go for it," I say.
"Easier said then done," he comments.
"If I can give Maxon a shot I think you can do this."
"You're braver than I am Mer, always have been."
"I would have to disagree," I say.
"Well you shouldn't, I've got to get to work I'll se you later." He stood up briskly and gently kissed my forehead before walking out of the room. Mary comes in soon after and helps me get ready for the day, another day that things will slowly get better I hope or not.......