Things We Lost - Bucky Barnes Fanfic

13. Pondering the Past

For the rest of the night, Tony, Bruce and Jessie work on locating the Cube and 'hacking' into S.H.I.E.L.D.'s files. Jessie sat at her desk typing in S.H.I.E.L.D. codes and constantly getting up to get a drink. She later fell asleep while Tony and Bruce were checking their computer screens in case the cube's location came up. After about an hour of sleeping, Jessie woke up to continue her work. At about 1:22 am, Jessie began to fiddle with the dog-tags hung around her neck. Tony noticed.

"Hey snowflake, what's that?" Tony asked referring to the dog-tags. Jessie read over the information engraved on the tags almost trying to memorize it.

Name: Barnes, James Buchanan

Birth: March 10, 1917

ID: 32557038

Blood Type: A Positive

"Just dog-tags from the War," she replied with a small shake of the head.

"Yours or anyone special?" Bruce asked, a hint of curiosity in his voice.

"A friends. He is, was, a very good friend."

"Is it that Barnes fellow?" Tony questioned with a raised eyebrow. Jessie avoided eye contact with the two men as she walked over to a screen to check on some progress.

"Yeah... Yeah it was him."

~1924~

A six year-old Jessie was playing in the back yard of her house with her friend, seven year-old Bucky. His mother had known Jessie's mother since they were in school together. The two kids were playing tag, hide and seek, and occasionally began to chase the Evans family dog around. Jessie's mother was baking a cake in the kitchen but was missing an ingredient. She asked Jessie and Bucky to go to the corner store not too far from the house to buy what she needed. After buying the ingredient, Jessie and Bucky heard a crash come from an alley. Being the curious kids they were, they decided to check it out only to find a small, skinny blond haired boy being beat up by two kids. He seemed to be around the same age as the intrigued kids. Jessie handed Bucky the paper bag holding their shopping items as she began to walk to the other kids.

"Why don't you pick on someone your own size!" she yelled at them, her hands clenched into tiny fists as she wanted to defend the kid.

"Throw him in the corner," the biggest kid said. He looked to Jessie. "Now, why would a girl want to defend a tiny shrimp like this kid?" Jessie felt a hand grab her shoulder before anything could happen, but wasn't able to hold her back before she punched the bigger kid. After a few minutes of being beat up, Jessie was thrown in the corner with the smaller kid while Bucky leaned against a wall holding his bruised stomach as the bullies walked away to leave. The small kid looked at Jessie his eyebrows furrowed.

"Why did you do let them do that?" he asked. Jessie wiped the blood off her lip and looked at him with a smile.

"I didn't want you to be alone," she answered. She stood up and held her hand out, helping the kid up. "I'm Jessie. That's Bucky."

"I'm Steve."

~1926~

American Marine troops were sent out to help support the Nicaraguan Conservatives in the Nicaraguan Civil War. Jessie's father being one of the men. On August 1, 1926, a letter was received in the mail. Jessie didn't know what the letter read nor have an explanation to her mother's sadness when Bucky and Steve's mothers asked. The eight year-old snuck into the kitchen early in the morning to retrieve the letter which was terribly hidden in a drawer. Reading over the letter twice, the young girl began to cry, resting and hiding her face in her hands. She buried her face into the neck of who was holding her small crying form knowing it was her mother who had walked in without a question as to why her daughter was crying. Jessie stayed home from school that day only to have Bucky and Steve visit the next day. The two boys gave her comfort after hearing what happened while their mothers supported the now widowed Mrs. Evans. The day of the funeral, Bucky and his family attended along with Steve and his mother. Men from Mr. Evans' unit along with commanding officers attended as well. After the funeral, Bucky made a promise to both Jessie and Steve he would be with them 'till the end of the line.'

~1936~

Bucky and Steve walked up to the door of Jessie's house. Knocking on the door, expecting and answer but not receiving one, Bucky opened the door. Both the nineteen and eighteen year-old walked into the house finding a small trail of blood on the floor. They followed to trail finding it lead to the kitchen. Walking into the kitchen, the two boys found an empty whiskey bottle sitting on the counter and broken glass on the floor followed by more blood. Looking around the corner of the counter, they found Jessie sitting on the floor in front of the sink hugging a half empty vodka bottle to her chest while her right arm was limp next to her, blood trailing down her fair skin. She stared straight ahead of her not paying attention to the two boys trying to get her attention. Steve grabbed a dish towel for Bucky to wrap tightly around Jessie's arm while Steve tried to pry the alcohol bottle out of her hand.

"Jess, what happened?" Steve asked as Jessie reluctantly let go of the bottle. Her hands started to lightly shake from the loss of blood. Bucky quickly went to get a bottle of disinfectant and bandages for her arm. When he came back, Jessie still hadn't answered. He noticed a light bruise forming under her left eye and a small cut on her lip. "Jess, please tell us."

"I-I need the-" she began to say trying to reach the bottle Steve was holding. Bucky held her back, pushing her hair out of her eyes.

"Jessie, we're trying to help you," he spoke. "You can't sit here and bleed and act like nothing happened. Please, what happened?"

"I don't want you two to keep worrying about me. I got into a fight and one of them pulled a knife on me. They kept saying I was weak and they kept teasing me about my mom and dad saying that they 'abandoned me' when they passed."

"Who were they?" Bucky began to get defensive saying things about how he would find the guys and beat them to a pulp. Jessie rested a hand on his arm and calmed him down.

"Bucky, it's fine, I'm fine. Please, don't worry about it." He looked at her, his bright eyes becoming soft.

"Jess, we worry because we care," Steve said giving Jessie a small smile. "Besides, when did you start drinking?" The three laughed and carried on with a happy conversation.

~1932~

Fourteen year-old Jessie was outside sitting on the tire swing in her back yard. Quietly singing songs in Russian, she heard the back door open, looking up to expect her mother but instead saw Bucky. He began to walk over, Jessie's dog trailing behind. She had returned her gaze back at the ground, seeing Bucky's feet as he stopped and stood in front of her. He stood there for another two minutes until Jessie looked up to see him smile. She couldn't help but smile back.

"Hey Buck," Jessie spoke. "Where's Steve?"

"He stayed home to take care of his mom," Bucky replied.

"Well, what are you doing here?"

"Just wanted to visit my best girl." Jessie felt her face flush as she looked back at his feet then to the dog which had sat himself next to her leg, petting him and scratching behind his ears. She noticed a dog toy lying on the ground nearby and decided to get up and throw it for the dog. When he ran to get the toy, Bucky turned Jessie to look at him, lightly resting his hand on her cheek rubbing a small cut from a recent fight with his thumb.

"You're beautiful," he whispered. Jessie's eyebrows furrowed.

"Bucky, are you feeling alright?" she asked resting her hand against his forehead. The fifteen year-old chuckled as he took her hand.

"I'm fine, Jess."

"Then why are you act-" she was cut off by Bucky pressing his lips against hers giving her a soft and short kiss. What both of them didn't know is that her mother was watching from the kitchen window as she was washing the dishes. Bucky pulled back.

"I hope that doesn't change our friendship in any way."

"No. No, it won't."

~2012~

Jessie touched the scar on her right arm from when she was cut in the fight. Tony noticed her silence for the past six minutes.

"Jess?" he questioned catching the girls attention. She moved her hand away from her arm, setting the dog-tags down on the desk before standing up. Both of the older men watched as she began to walk off toward the door.

"I need a drink."