"I'm sorry but she didn't make it." This all felt like one big dream. She couldn't be dead! I fell to the floor blubbering like a baby.
It's funny how the world works. You begin to get attached to something and just like that it's taken from you. God gives you a gift, someone who was meant to be in your life, and then he decides that he wants it again and takes it back. The world is just one big Indian Giver.
The pain was too much to handle this time. I wanted to make it all stop. I wanted to join her in heaven or to turn to alcohol but I know if she was here, she wouldn't want me too. So there I sat, alone and sobbing. I was truly alone.
-
(3 days earlier)
"Zach, I have a check-up day after tomorrow to make sure everything's going ok. We even get to find out the gender!" Zach and I were curled up on the couch. Zach had his hand cupped on my bloated stomach, hoping to feel the baby kick. Everyone else had felt it except him so he kept his hand on my belly at all times.
"Really? When are we picking her name?"
"You mean his? And he's only 5 months old. We still have a while to pick his name." This had been an ongoing argument between us. Zach wanted a baby girl to protect and I wanted a baby boy. We had bet 20$ on the gender of our little miracle. Zach and I didn't consider the baby a 'mistake', we took it as a sign. Since we found out I was pregnant, we had grown closer than ever thought possible. Zach moved into my apartment after Bee left because I felt lonely and we were getting married in 2 months. Everything seemed to be right in the world. It felt like nothing could bring us down; I wish that had been true.
"I guess we do still have a while to pick her name."
-
"Zach, I've been thinking. Maybe we should pick out our favorite names for both genders so that we don't feel pressured as the due date grows closer." I suggested as I sat down on the bed we shared. In my hands, I had a list of my 3 favorite names for each gender.
"What names were you thinking of?"
"My top three names for girls are Caitlyn, Nicole, and Bailey. The names I picked out for boys are Samuel, Brayden, and Luke. What do you think?" I asked. As my belly grew, so did my love for the baby. Zach and I had originally planned to wait until he or she was born to find out the gender but a couple of days ago, we decided we couldn't wait any longer and would ask the doctor at the next sonogram.
"My favorite for girls is Nicole and my favorite for boys is Luke." He said after thinking about it for a moment.
"I'm glad those are your favorite because those were my number one picks, too."
"No matter what her name is, we will love her all the same."
"What if it's a boy." I joked.
"Gender doesn't matter either. No matter what that baby comes out as: boy, girl, perfect, or flawed, I will love it all the same."
-
Where could she be? I had been waiting in the dress shop for half an hour. We arranged a time and I didn't exactly appreciate it that she was late. I had to be at my sonogram in 2 hours. It was for my wedding, everything had to go right and we were off to a crappy start. Right as I was about to call her, my phone began ringing. I quickly answered because the caller ID said Zach.
"Hello?" I said as I fiddled with the fray at the bottom of my short.
"Rose? Oh my god. Get down to the hospital right now." He sounded frantic and distressed. I was getting worried. Did something happen to him? Was he dying?
"Why? Zach what's wrong?"
"I'll explain later, just get down here." And with that, the line went dead. I didn't waste a second racing out to my car and starting the ignition. Within minutes I was pulling into the hospital parking lot. Zach had texted me the section of the hospital they were in on the way there. I raced through the doors and searched the crowded room for Zach. He was standing in the far corner with Brayden, Mitch, and Brooke. I ran over to them as soon as I saw them.
"Can I please know what's happening now?" I pleaded. They all looked like emotional wrecks. All their eyes were bloodshot and puffy.
"It was Courtney..." Brayden started before breaking down crying again.
"She got in a car wreck and her condition is critical." Brooke finished for him.
"She's going to survive though, right?" I asked. I could feel a lump grow in my throat. It was like that feeling you get after dry-swallowing a big pill or eat a lot of bread with no water.
"There's a 50/50 chance."
A doctor then walked through the door.
"I'm looking for Courtney's family."
"Um, sir? She doesn't have any family here but we are her friends." Zach said, addressing the doctor.
"I'm sorry but she didn't make it."
-
I woke up back in bed next to Zach.
"Good morning, baby." Zach grumbled as he rolled over to face me.
"Good morning. I just had the craziest dream." I said as I propped myself up on my elbow.
"What about?"
"I had a dream that Courtney got in a car wreck and died. It felt so realistic, too." It truly felt like it actually happened. It was terrifying.
"Babe," He pause, trying to find the right words, "That wasn't a dream."
"What do you mean? Of course it was a dream."
"No, the doctor broke you the news and you passed out. I brought you home and you slept the rest of the day."
"You mean Courtney's really..." I couldn't finish the sentence because I felt like it wouldn't actually come true until I said it out loud.
"I'm sorry."
"What about the sonogram?" I asked, trying to get my mind off the topic.
"It was rescheduled to today at 3."
"Who's going to be my brides maid? I have no one anymore. Bee moved across the globe and Courtney... I don't know who could take her place."
"Bee's not coming to the wedding?" I hadn't told him yet, but Bee doesn't know about the wedding or my pregnancy.
"No, she's not. She doesn't know about it."
"What? You didn't tell her?"
"I didn't tell her..." I paused and looked over at him. His expression held a blank stare."I didn't want her to change her mind about moving in with Mitch."
"Rose, Bee is your best friend. Don't you think she deserves to at least know about our wedding?"
"Ya, I guess. I'll call her in a bit." Suddenly something crossed my mind. "Brooke can be one of my bridesmaids!"
"I'm sure she'd do it. Even though you guys barely know each other, Brooke loves you."
"We should probably get up. If the sonogram is at 3, then we only have 2 hours to get ready." I said, looking over at the clock on the bedside table.
"Okay. Oh and babe."
"Huh?"
"I love you."
-
A/N
5k reads! WOOP WOOP.
Does anyone want to be a character in the story? I want there to be one more bridesmaid so if you want to be in the story just comment your name, a description of what you look like, and your age. Also you can choose who you want to date in the story except for people who are taken.
