Short Stuff [HAIKYUU: Tsukishima Kei x OC Fanfic] [Rewriting]

Chapter 34 - That's Good

Tsukishima's POV

"What do you mean?" I asked Aki. "There's nothing wrong with you."

"How can you be so sure?" she asked. "You wanted to know what I talked to Kageyama about back there at the cafe? I pretty much just broke down and he happened to walk into the kitchen in the middle of it all.

"I was stressed and freaking out. It's just like you said, Tsu-kun. We met a few months ago and things have gotten to this point so quickly. I never even thought I'd be where I am right now. If I didn't push through with the badminton club.. If I didn't meet you or the other volleyball club members, do you know where I imagined I would be at this point in time?"

"Working at the cafe?"

"Dead. I thought I'd be dead by now, Tsu-kun."

She let out a sigh and I waited for her to calm herself down. This wasn't something I ever imagined she would tell me, and I wanted her to take her time with it.

Heck, I'm glad we're even talking in the first place, after about a month of her being so distant.

"You saw my room a couple of times. The fridge barely had anything in it, and I was living in such a small space," she said.

My mind zoomed back to the first time I caught a glimpse of her room. I remember questioning how she was still alive at that point.

"It was like that for months," Aki continued. "I'd go to school and try my best to stay awake in class. I'd go to the nurse's room during breaks to try to get some sleep but I'd just get nightmares. After school, I work my ass off at the cafe and work other jobs during the weekends. I never thought I'd make it."

"But here you are," I said.

"But here I am," she repeated with a small smile. "I'm alive, eating a bit better, still working my ass off but with a goal now."

"So what's wrong?" I asked.

"I feel like I don't deserve it," she said.

I looked at her and she had a blank expression on her face. I sighed and scooted up to the pillows to lay down properly. She stood up, turning the lights before getting into bed beside me.

We laid in silence for a while. The only light coming into the room was from the night sky pouring in through the window.

"Go ahead," I told her. "Say what's on your mind."

The light bounced off of her skin. She was glowing under the light of the night sky. I could see a tear flowing down from her eye.

"I felt happy," she said. "I felt happy that we won that tournament, like all the hard work I did to get to that point was worth it. That's what I told Kageyama. I told him that I felt like I didn't deserve feeling that happiness."

"And what did he say?"

"He said I deserved to feel happy."

"You do."

"It doesn't feel like it," she replied. "For a moment, after he told me that, I had a revelation that maybe I really did deserve it. It's the result of my hard work, right? But I still feel so unsure. I feel like that happy feeling will slip out of my hands so quickly."

She turned to look at me, showing me a smile that seemed to say "sorry".

"I wouldn't be here without you and the others, you know that, right?" she asked. "You all took care of me so much and looked out for me. The guys on the badminton team worked hard along with me to build the club back up. All these sacrifices kept being made around me, and I feel like I'll just let you all down."