V.F.D.

Chapter 4: P.E.

Wayne whispered through ear mic. "Yeah, that's Olaf."

"Count Olaf is here?" Terra asked.

"Yeah. Dressed as a gym teacher." Wayne replied, a little annoyed.

"Wow."

Everyone was cheering for "Coach Genghis" as he grinned at the students.

"I love the energy! I love it!"

"All right, everyone. Settle down." Nero said.

"Did you hear what Principal Nero just said?" The fake teacher asked. "How often I hear those words come out of people's ears and into my mouth. 'Settle'. A word which means 'settling for less', and down. My personal least favorite direction."

"What's he doing right now?" Terra asked.

"Just talking." Dwayne answered quietly.

Count Olaf continued with his meaningless speech.

"Let me tell you a story. Some years ago, a woman came to me. She needed my help. 'Coach Genghis' she said to me, 'I'm a failure. I have no job. My love life is in the pits. I can't seem to lose these last 20 pounds.' I bet that describes just about each and every one of you, am I right?"

"No, you're not." Ventus muttered.

"Um, they're schoolchildren." Nero reminded.

"Exactly. And what do you think I told her? Do you think I told her to settle down?"

Nobody said anything.

"Answer me, pippity sqeaks!" Olaf yelled. "Do... You... Think... I... Told... Her... To... Settle down?"

"Probably not!" Hailey called out.

"Probably not." They repeated in unison.

"Probably not, indeed. I told her to stand up. I told her to actualize and incentivize. I told her to keep her eyes in the clouds and her feet on the stars. Do... You... Know... What... Ha... Penned?" He paused, and looked over at Ven and the Quagmires.

"She died in a mysterious fire."

Principal Nero furrowed his eyebrows in confusion. "Wait, what?"

"Settling down is what losers do." Olaf said, walking back to the stage.

"No, but the woman you were talking about-"

"Settling down is what started World War 1."

"But the story you were telling-"

"Settling down is what happens when you bite your lip, and then your lip gets swollen, so you bite your lip again, and then you're doing that thing where you keep biting your lip over and over. I don't want that. Do you want that, Prufrock Prep?"

"No!"

"Let's bring in the violin!"

Nero was forced to forget the confusion and start playing his broken violin.

"This school is going to be destroyed by a very persuasive villain." Ven said.

"That always happens at pep rallies." Duncan added.

"How are we going to stop him?" Isadora asked, worried.

Ven looked down in disappointment. "I don't know."

After the pep rally, Ven and Duncan conversed about what had happened.

"How did he find us?" Ven asked.

"I'm not sure, but he may have known that you were transferred here and came in disguise."

"But what does he want with me?"

"Well, let's hope it doesn't involve kidnapping. You don't want to go through that again."

"No, I don't."

Meanwhile, Count Olaf discussed his plan with his associates.

"But what do you want with him, boss?"

"He lived with the orphans. He can lead me to them. Then I can steal their fortune."

"But how?"

Olaf looked over at Hailey, who was yelling at other students. They were in the night exercise class.

"Little girl." He called.

She turned around. "Little girl? I'm 4 foot 7."

Olaf chuckled. "That's a pretty broach you have."

Hailey smiled. "Make me an offer."

He grinned evilly. "I like you. You're not an orphan, are you?"

"Do I look like I live in a shack?"

"Meet me under the bleachers tommorow morning before school."

But what Count Olaf didn't know, is that Lil Wayne was hiding, listening the whole time.

626 words.