After what happened with Alyssa I felt myself slipping into depression, and it was horrible. I called her the next day, trying to make up with her since it was her birthday, but she didn't answer the phone.
So I went to her house to apologize in person again, but she refused to talk to me. I ended up leaving the gift I had got her on the porch with a note repeatedly telling her how sorry I was.
The weekend after her birthday went by, I didn't bother trying to call any more since she probably blocked my number. But on Monday I was going to make it my mission to explain everything she wanted to know until my face turned blue.
Every detail, every lie I ever told, all my messed up feelings for Aaron. Even if it was uncomfortable or just plain shitty, I would tell her everything.
I wouldn't let my mind consider the possiblity that she might not want to hear any of it. The idea of losing my bestfriend for good was just too horrible to think of.
I had told Aaron about what happened causing him to exspress how bad and guilty he felt about the whole thing. I tried to tell him that even though he had showed up, the truth would have came out eventually.
There was nothing we could do. I hated the way she found out, having to see us in front of her house holding eachother. I can't imagine how hurt I would have been if that had been Scott with someone else. Sigh.
On Monday morning I tried to be as optimistic as humanly possible. Oh it's raining? That dosen't matter, so I'll have to drive a little slower to school, possibly be late. That's fine. Oh Mr. Goodman is back from sick leave and is really irritated?That's okay, a bunch of extra homework never killed anyone.
Yeah, I'm not so good with being optimistic. Ah well.I made my way to Alyssa's locker. I was not going to give up on a relationship that's lasted nearly three years. She was already there getting some books.
"Hey 'Lyss I just wanted you to know-" "Stop talking to me." She muttered and walked away. I had expected that kind of reaction but...It still hurt.
I followed her. I figured now was the time for persistance. "Alyssa, you can't keep avoiding me, we're bestfriends." I said. She turned and glared at me. "Yeah we were, but that was until my boyfriend left me for you!" She said.
"Lyss I didn't know he had feelings for me, really." "But you had feelings for him, didn't you?" She demanded. I looked away while I answered. "Yes...But I never acted on my feelings for him though, I swear! The first time we even kissed for real was on New Years Eve, when we were both single." I explained.
She raised an eyebrow. "Sort of single actually." She said. "Um what?" "Lover boy, a.k.a. Aaron, had dumped me on my ass, he was single. You on the other hand were only on a break with Scott, which makes you a filthy little cheater." She said with a cold smile.
My heart sank. "Lyss..." "Here's how I see it, Aaron is a piece of shit, you and I aren't friends any more, I now have no problem telling Scott all about what you did." She said.
I stared at her in shock. "You...You can't do that to me, or Scott. This...This would completely devastate him." I said. I felt close to hysterical.
How could she even consider doing this? Does she really hate me that much? "Yeah, he would probably be upset, at first, but then he'd thank me for being the only honest person." She said.
I stared at her, trying to catch my breath. "Anything else you want to talk about, friend?" She asked. "No? Good, see you around." She walked away again. I watched her, thinking over everything she had just said.
As much as it absolutely hurt having her say all those things, I started to get angry, pissed off actually. I ran after her and grabbed her arm.
She protested and tried to pull away but I dragged her into a bathroom. The bell had just rang so everyone rushed to class leaving it empty. "What the hell is your problem?!" She yelled and shrugged out of my grip.
"Shut up and listen! Where do you get off thinking that you have the right to tell people things that aren't any of your business?" I demanded. "Exscuse me-"
"No exscuse me, you are not telling Scott anything, nothing, do you hear me? He is my boyfriend, what I did was stupid and wrong, and yes, you got dumped. It sucks, but that does not give you the right to go around ruining other people's lives! Scott is as much your friend as I am. The fact that you would risk hurting him just to get back at me just shows the kind of person you really are. Cold and careless!" I finished.
She looked at me with her mouth hanging open mutely. I had stunned her. Good. I took a deep calming breath.
"Okay, I love you Alyssa, you're like a sister to me, you always will be, but if you do this to me, to Scott, I won't be able to forgive you." I said. We were both silent. Finally I sighed and started for the door.
"Fine! God, you win! I won't tell your little secret, but if you don't tell him soon, I will." She said. A lot less severe. I nodded. "Whatever...Oh, 'Lyss even though you hate right now, I'm not going to stop being your friend, any time you're ready to make up, I will." I said. I meant it. I went to class feeling less troubled. My secret was safe for now, but only if I tell the truth. How am I going to tell Scott about Aaron without losing them both?
