If Only

C HA P T E R 23

FRAGILE TRUCE

RAVEN

Feeling sick and faint since this morning, I decided to clock out early from work and head to the mansion. The ride home–how do I explain this? It's like taking a bump car for a swing but riding shotgun after a night of drinking.

I have no control and my head is about to burst, I am feeling dizzy, disoriented and in dire need of sleep. It was a killer combination.

I'd rather be hitting something or someone right at this moment than feel like this. The agonizing ride was ended after an excruciating half an hour. I could have kissed the solid ground the moment I got out of the car if I was sure I'd be able to stand back up.

Queasy doesn't even begin to cover it.

The mansion was unusually quiet. Mostly at this time, Miranda, Ai, and Harriette would be out playing or enjoying afternoon snacks. Miranda could also be right there on the parlor couch reading stories as Ai listens on her lap. The typical scenes that greeted me were missing.

"It wasn't about the money! It was never about the money!" Miranda's voice rang out in the tranquil afternoon.

"Could have fooled me, for one, I knew that the café you pretended to work in was actually owned by you. How did you afford that working in an office for months less?"

Aaron?

The rest of the conversation was muted by the closed door. I stealthily approached it and opened it a little–enough to eavesdrop.

"That was the only asset you owned that was worth a lot of money. It was acquired after you sabotaged the two companies. Getting warmer?"

It was the information I shared with him in confidence.

"You know nothing." Miranda was holding her own and not shrinking away at the big man. "A loose woman like you must have squandered the ill-gotten money you've earned and you're now eyeing Raven as your next meal ticket."

Standing there without a hint of remorse was Miranda, like she did nothing wrong at all. She was holding her head up. Not the normal reaction of a guilty woman.

Thick-skinned? More like a cold bloodied cheat.

"Though you had finished your studies and earned a degree, it did not guarantee you a sufficient income. You could not keep your job for weeks-long before you were fired."

She was living so well and owning her own business at the age of twenty-four. That solidified my belief of her being manipulated or paid to bring us down.

"You got snippets–puzzle pieces that you had forced to fit to create a picture you had already conjured in your mind. You don't know me."

You're no mystery, Miranda. You're as good as the next gold diggers and bitches my uncle has been surrounding himself with.

"Ha!" Aaron was obviously disgusted at her. "You're–"

"I am someone who cares deeply for my family–for the people I considered family unlike you." The woman dares play that card. Shameless!

"If you really cared as you claimed you do, you would have stopped Raven from doing this and going down a destructive path."

Destructive?

I am only out to destroy and your master.

My friend was close to flipping, "You!"

"You really think this right?" Miranda doesn't know when to stop. "Does all of this make her happy? If it did, then I don't mind being the guinea pig and the target of her hatred. But I don't see her being happy, Aaron. Instead of joining the revenge themed wagon, you could have done a better job of looking after her and steering her to a better path."

"I'm not miserable."

A nipping conscious voice said,

'But you're not happy either.'

I will be once I am through with her.

"You're even supporting her on her plan on having me as the incubator for the Deschanel bloodline? Involving an innocent life? Bringing a child into this?" She had a protecting hand over her stomach. "I am no saint but your schemes compared to mine? You should do well on soul-searching once in a while. I'm not the only monster here."

The shock registered on his face. Aaron had no prior knowledge of that. I acted on anger. It was me. His conflicted reaction was worse than the time I told him I almost killed Miranda.

Maybe all of this did turn me into a monster.

* * *

MIRANDA

Greatly worried at the decline of Raven's health, Aaron had specialists called in. However, the doctors could not pinpoint the reason for her fainting spells and nausea. There were no findings explaining the sudden tiredness she always felt.

The afternoon Raven lost consciousness while Aaron and I argued was the last time she went to work. It was a month ago. She was confined to a bed and unable to summon the strength to lead the company that needed her. She was barely out the bed when she puked her guts out. She was not in good shape.

That was then.

Now, unlike the last couple of months, Raven has been eating more and more. She was gaining a good amount of meat on her. She was however instructed to cut back on work to decrease the chance of her being stressed. It helped a lot on easing her situation.

She was not as cranky after work.

We seldom quarrel too. Civility and maximum tolerance were being observed during our interactions, no shouting nor breaking things. We've improved. Considering the screaming raving mess, we were before.

It was an improvement.

Raven has not been bugging me to go back to the fertility clinic for another insemination too. I was beyond relieved. When I failed to conceive, she has somewhat regained some level-headedness and has not pushed for punishing me by involving a child.

That same span of time, her brother has been steadily recovering. He has not woken but he was more responsive to treatments. There was hope after all. Maybe that was another reason why Raven has not been so grumpy.

And, she does not pester me to reveal the person she believed to be my partner in crime. It definitely has something to do with the fact that their company was already getting back on track splendidly. Raven's burden was easing.

I can see the silver lining.

Moreover, Ai has been growing happier and no longer reserved each day. I was also thankful that Raven has not alienated the child even when Ai was not her brother's child.

"Nighty night, aunt Ray," Ai was holding her hands toward Raven. The child wanted a goodnight kiss.

We were outside her room, adjacent Raven's quarters. Raven and I slept in separate rooms since I came to live here. Mine was at the farthest end. That's how much she didn't want to see me.

My arms were strained under the child's weight. I might drop her if we delayed any longer. I was tucking her to bed every night. I silently begged Raven to show compassion and acknowledge Ai's goodnight.

She didn't disappoint. Goodnight, little star." She gave the child a kiss on the cheek. "Sleep soundly."

"Aren't you going to kiss aunt Mim?" The child asked. "Daddy always kiss mommy goodnight when they bring me to bed."

Raven's action was one I was not counting on. Instead of a kiss on the cheek, she kissed me on the lips. It was not a long kiss but it wasn't short either but it was enough to leave me breathless as she walked away.

The child asked, "To bed, aunt Mim?"

"Yes, honey. Let's get you on your bed." I kissed the tip of her nose and opened the door to her room.

Let us so that I can go lie down on my own empty bed.