strawberries (yoonmin) #WATTYS2019

XXXVII

May 14th - 18th

This week fucking sucked.

When Yoongi got to school the next day, he crossed Namjoon and Seokjin in the parking lot. He tried his hardest to avoid their glares.

He noticed that both of them were sporting new haircuts and colors and Yoongi knew it was because they just wanted some control over what was happening to them. They looked good, though he would never admit it.

And when he got to lunch, Jimin was already sitting at their table. Yoongi was so excited to finally get to speak to him without the younger running away or kicking him out. He just wanted to lay his head on Jimin's shoulder and tell him how much he really loved him.

But the closer he got to the table, the more he noticed a folded up piece of paper that sat in front of Jimin. It looked like an office desk name tag but it read "go away Min Yoongi' instead.

So Yoongi stood there in front of the table, in front of Jimin who couldn't even look up at him. Jimin was absolutely ignoring him.

So Yoongi took his things and ate in the art supplies room, alone again. His world felt so dark, maybe it's because the storage room lights didn't work or maybe it's the darkness he's created.

Jimin really did feel like his sun, like he revolved around him. He brought light and warmth to Yoongi, a feeling he really had begun to miss.

Yoongi often hums the 'You are my sunshine'  tune while he sits in the storage room, thinking of ways to make Jimin forgive him. He had to make the younger forgive him. Sitting in that room every day just amplified how much Yoongi knew he needed the younger. How much he needed his presence and warmth.

He also knew that he had to see Miss Luna that Friday, he finally had remembered her name. He knew that she was Jimin's caregiver, or at least the floor's caregiver.

Although he still doesn't know why she needed him. If anything he was ready to just be scolded for an hour for the things that he's done to Jimin, of which he would highly deserve. He felt like a fucking asshole. A lonely fucking idiot.

Like everything he was doing would just ultimately destroy the boy. He would go from wanting Jimin to wishing he would never see him again so it wouldn't matter anymore. So he couldn't hurt him anymore.

Everything was so annoying. Sitting in the room alone, sitting in class alone, sitting in his house alone. It was driving him crazy.

He was so tired of being the bad guy. So tired of everyone just fucking hating him, but he hates everyone too. It's nauseating.

It's times like this when Yoongi wishes he could just disappear. Everything would be so much easier if he could just go away and never come back. He's about to fucking graduate high school and he has nothing.

He has no colleges in mind, no jobs, nowhere to live, no one to be with. Everything feels so completely pointless.

So he went home early that Friday, he called his mom and she told the school to dismiss him. He drove home and sat in an empty house. Alone.

He didn't feel like crying anymore so he just sat in the middle of his hallway, head leaning on the bathroom door. There was nothing to go up from, nothing to make him feel like there was a light.

Sure he could make Jimin forgive him but he'd never trust Yoongi again. And what if he can't even make Jimin forgive him? He doesn't have any fucking friends anymore. The girl he liked for two years basically called him ugly.

So now he was ugly, alone, and completely the one to blame.

He's the one who messed everything up. It's his fault.

Everything was his fault.

It really felt like the end.

He really didn't want to do anything or see anyone, and he wasn't going to.

But his phone chimed in his pocket and he pulled it out to see. It was his reminder that he had an appointment that day with Miss Luna, and he knew that he had to go see her if he wanted anything to get better.

He hoped it would get better.

_____
sigh

edited by Sakurachiru the sweetest lil bean