Club 27 [Incomplete]

• 6 •

This is the picture Gerard gives to Frank later in the chapter.
•••

The flame was hot.

Frank kept repeating that in his head over and over as he flicked the lighter, debating if he should touch it. He just felt so numb. He wanted to feel something. Anything. He was desperate.

Gerard watched him from his cozy corner in frank's bedroom. He watched so intently at how the 17 year old boy flicked the lighter, his eyebrows furrowing, as if in despair. His heart ached for the young boy.

"Please don't." Gerard whispered as he walked over to him. He sat down on the floor in from of him, their faces merely parted by the single flame.

The flame was hot. It was so excruciatingly, painfully heated. And Frank had to feel it. He knew he did. He had to feel something. A pinch wasn't enough. He needed real pain. Something damaging. Something to remind him he was on Earth, not dissociating again. Not dreaming. Not dead and in his personal hell. So he reached his finger out to the flame.

"Frank no!" Gerard shouted, accidentally blowing the flame out in the process. He looked at it in surprise, not knowing he was able to do that. Frank gasped as he felt the draft and watch the flame disappear. He got over it and rolled his eyes, flicking the lighter again. Gerard smirked and quickly blew it out. Frank grunted and Flicked it again. Gerard giggled and blew it out.

"Fucking useless!" He tossed the lighter onto the carpet. Gerard smiled up at him, nothing parting their faces now. They were only about a foot apart.

"Sorry kid. I won't sit by and let you hurt yourself. You're better than that." Gerard said. Frank sighed and turned onto his back. Gerard sat up on his knees, staring curiously at the young man.

"C'mon Frank. It'll be okay. You're a strong kid. You just need a little push." He whispered. He glanced down at frank's arm and hummed. "Just a little push."

He placed his hand on Frank's arm. Frank's eyes shot open and he turned his head to the side to look at his arm.

"What the fuck is wrong with me?" He whispered. Gerard sighed and watched frank's lovely face.

"Late dawns and early sunsets
Just like my favorite scenes." Gerard sang. Frank's eyebrows grew together and he lifted his head slightly.

"Then holding hands and life was perfect, Just like up on the screen. And the whole time while always giving counting your face among the living." Gerard cooed softly. He released frank's arm. Frank sniffed a bit and stood up, tucking himself into bed.

"Just need sleep." He mumbled. Gerard smiled thankfully and sat down next to him while he slept. He was beautiful when he was asleep. So peaceful. It was like he was truly happy. His eyes were just plain, not drawn together in thought or pain or sadness. His lips didn't frown, they were neutral. Gerard wanted to see him happy. He wanted to reach out and touch his soft cheek. He wanted to sing to him, actually sing. He wanted to personally let Frank know how precious he is and how much Gerard cared for his presence in the universe. But he couldn't. He never could.

-

  "Y-you had a gun?" Frank asked nervously. Gerard nodded. He stood up and sat next to him on the railing. Frank's eyes watched him carefully, while Gerard's eyes were elsewhere.