MARIA JUANA

Wow, Chapter 6, 1/3 of 666, NICE

M, pls, seek help-C

NEVER-M

The guidance counselor really sucks and Martin has to talk to him. Fucking RIP. - M

"Martin, the guidance counselor would like to see you."

"Why?"

"You know why, Martin."

"When will I be back?"

"Just go already!"

"Okay, okay!"

"Hey, Martin. How are you doing today?"

"Is this about the weed?"

"Now, why would you think that?"

"I've never done anything else memorable in my life."

"You are correct, but would you like to have a chat about that instead?"

"No. I'm perfectly fine with myself right now, except for the fact that fake marijuana possession is on my permanent record for the rest of my life."

"That's fine. So, why did you try to buy the marijuana?"

"Because it seemed fun."

"That doesn't sound like the truth, Martin. You can tell me anything."

"...can I? Like, won't you report it to the school board and my parents and literally everyone?"

"Only if I'm concerned for you."

"I nearly inhaled oregano, had Maria's dad nearly sue me for drug dealing,

and went to jail. No need to be concerned at all."

"You can always recover from mistakes like this, as long as you stay positive!"

"Bruh. No. I literally went to jail for 6 hours. Like any college is going to accept me when I have drug use on my record. I might as well drop out right now and get a sweet gig at my local Mattress Firm and have a suuuuper great career there for 50 years then retire and die alone in a mobile home while taking a long drag on my cigarette and watching the world fall apart."

"....Martin, are you okay?"

"Take a wild fuckin' guess, buddy."

"You do know that life will move on, right? You're a very smart boy, I'm sure a college will accept you."

"Mmmmmmmhmmmmmm."

"I think you and I should meet again, Martin. Just to check up on you, make sure your life is going well, and get to know each other better."

"What, you want to stop my sad boi hours indefinitely?"

"...sad boi..hours?"

"Welp, that's the bell, gotta blast!"

"Martin--"