MARIA JUANA

Chapter 1, I guess

This conversation is between two characters named Martin and Al. You'll figure out the rest. - C

"Well, this is a nice change of scenery."

"It's a prison cell, Martin."

"I was being sarcastic."

"Why did you even do that though?"

"Do what?"

"You know what I'm talking about."

"Okay, you have to admit, it was pretty funny."

"Godammit, Martin, we're in jail because of you!"

"How was I supposed to know her parents were home?"

"Where did you even buy that weed from? It wasn't even weed. It was oregano!"

"The guy swore--"

"What guy?"

"I don't know! I didn't catch his name! He swore it was weed!"

"Well, either that guy was completely idiotic or he was messing with you!"

"Oops? It doesn't even matter that much, our parents will come and get us out of here soon."

"This is going on my permanent record! This could ruin my whole future!"

"You could always resort to working at McDonalds."

"And besides my future, Maria is going to be absolutely slaughtered by her parents. We won't be allowed within 50 feet of her if we're lucky."

"Well, it wasn't like she used any of it!"

"Of what?"

"The weed."

"You mean the oregano?"

"THAT ONLY MAKES MY POINT MORE VALID!"

"It smells like a pizzeria in their house now. Like 12 deep dish pizzas came straight out of the oven, carried by some guy called Mario."

"And is that a bad thing? No. Pizza is perfection."

"Ugh, you're so immature."

"Are you so sure that it wasn't weed? Because I am really craving pizza now."

"That's because you were smelling so much goddamn oregano!"

"Okay, okay! I shouldn't have brought weed--okay, Jesus, I shouldn't have brought a bag of oregano into Maria's house when her parents were home! Happy now?"

"No! We're in jail!"

"And about to be out of it--look, there's our parents."

"The dread hour is nigh. My mom is going to murder me..."

"You think you've got problems. My dad is going to stab me and then bury my body in a landmine, so if I happened to still be alive, any movement I'd make would send the ground beneath me exploding until I'm only bits and pieces."

"...I don't think that's how it works."

"Our parents are talking to the police officers, we better shut up."

"Okay then, Martin, I'll just directly follow your orders like I did when we were at Maria's house."

"JUST DO IT."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"...hey wouldn't it be funny it Maria's middle name was Juana?"

"MARTIN SHUT UP!"