Seoul: Become Human (BTS J-Hope X OC)

Ch. 14- Empty

The tile looked so cold underneath my shoes. It was white. Clean. Like freshly fallen snow.

It didn't smell like winter though. It smelled like paper. Medicines. Disinfectant.

Still, it was strangely satisfying: that pure, childish white hugging the floor.

"Her cancer has begun spreading to the limbic system of the brain, the center that controls memories," the doctor flatly stated, "simply put, her memories are starting to be strongly affected, so she may waver between periods of time and forget things that have happened in her life. Including major events, recent events, or even people."

"Okay," I replied.

"If that seems to be happening, then it means that the illness has claimed most of her life. Surgery is the only option to save her. Treatment will keep her alive for a month at most, and that's still a hopeful length of time."

"Okay."

"It would be best to prepare for the worst. There's not much left we can do for her."

"Okay."

"I'm sorry," he showed his respect and bowed, then I bowed, then he left me standing in the center of the bustling hospital, full of nurses and doctors racing back and forth across the room, buzzing like bees. The only thing I could be sure of was that time was passing. I watched the sky from the window as it melted from day, to evening, to night. I watched as the stars peered out from the clouds, and the moon gave a humble blue-gray glow to everything it touched. It looked sweet and gentle.

"Excuse me ma'am," a tap on my shoulder, "Are you alright? You've been standing there for hours."

I turned to her and nodded, then took another glance at the moon.

"Well, Visiting hours are over now. There's no reason to stay if you'd like to leave."

"Okay."

The nurse left, and so did I.

I exited into the deathly cold and stiff air. It seemed so warm from outside, but now that I'd come into contact with it, it froze me in place.

I really wanted to cry, but I couldn't. The tears couldn't work their way out of my eyes. I'd used them all. All I could do was watch as my life fell apart little by little.

'Well, I'm sorry if I acted a bit strange dear, but I don't know who you are.'

A broken smile lay across my face in amusement. It was just amazing how bad things could get.

I don't remember the walk home, I just did it, and ended up sprawled in a heap across my bed. My dad was out drinking, my brother was in prison, and my android abandoned me. It was just me and the world at this point.

I blankly stared at my ceiling, and it blankly stared at me. My head was torn between thousands and thousands of thoughts and things I tried to forget but always remembered. I couldn't stop thinking. Why couldn't I stop thinking?

Why me? Why mom? Why?

In that moment, I broke in half. I rolled onto my stomach and buried my face in my hands and I howled. I screamed and cried. I couldn't even remember what exactly I was crying for. There were too many reasons.

I openly poured out all of the tears I thought were gone, but this time I had no hand to grab hold of to keep me afloat. There was no one to tell me everything would be alright. So I couldn't keep myself from drowning.

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J-Hope's POV