of rants and poems.

lonely

does anyone actually even read these?

I don't know what to say.

I'd love to say that I'm alright being left alone.

But I can't say that when I see you forgetting I exist

Forgetting that I'm alive and still need you

Because it hurts.

Loneliness is a low ache that just sits in my chest

While yours is light with laughter.

Because everyone is gathered.

While I sit alone.

And I understand if there's something that made you pause

Made you hesitate

Before asking me to join in.

I understand

If you're sick of me.

I am too, don't worry.

But I'd give anything to say

That jealousy and lonliness aren't raging a war inside me

As you figure things out

And smile

And forget I'm here.

I wouldn't dream of joining

And I wouldn't dream of pulling you away 

Or of making the smile disappear

But I wish the smile was there while I was around, too

And I wish I was there to see it.

But that's me, right?

Two parts alone, one part lonely.

Alone isn't lonely.

Lonely is just another form of pain,

A flaw that comes with existing:

Feeling like you don't exist.