ok but not everyone knows what it's like to feel broken. not everyone knows that feeling when you're surrounded by people who are friends but strangers to you. and I don't mean "im depressed!" or "i have a different taste in music!" "im goth"
"im dark inside ;-; !" nah, son that ain't it.
I mean genuine outcast. i mean being avoided because you're gay. i mean being told your gender is fake. I mean so many thing, but don't you think for a second this is some angsty teenage phase thing. this is having a circle for a heart when everyone has a square and you don't understand what's wrong with you, why aren't your edges pointy? why don't you love like they do, why don't you feel like they do? why are you so messed up, why are you faking this? this isn't real, you just want to feel different. you can't possibly be serious, everything in your life and society has pointed to the opposite yet here I am liking girls and here I am lying to people I trust and talking about guys and man do I feel fucking broken, man.
I mean those thoughts, constantly. I mean dark shit and beating yourself up for gagging at a picture of a naked guy. i mean questions like "who hurt you?" and comments like "i hope you get better soon"
i mean being normal and okay but being constantly chased down by these thoughts that eat at me night after night when I can't hide behind a screen.
it fuckin hurts man. i don't know what's wrong with me, but at the same time I know there's nothing wrong.
why aren't my edges pointy? why do I have a circle? fuck me.
-a.p.c.
YOU ARE READING
of rants and poems.
Poesíabasically a bunch of raw emotions compiled into sentences and so-called stanzas of free-verse. if you could even call it that. either way, trigger warning and things like that. also it's unedited blasts of feelings and ranting. it's not something i...
