Bitter Snow 『 Jinkook 』

『 Day Eleven: Don't conclude 』

I honestly thought I would live a perfect world, with the perfect home, married to a perfect spouse. Then my Mother passed, my actions were regrets I constantly thought about every day, working day and night to pay money for Papa and I to live in a small apartment. Although, maybe I don't regret anything that I've done now. I ran into Namjoon, my old friend. I got to find out Seokjin had liked me and we happened to find each other in a weird way. We're dating and we visit Papa at the hospital. It feels nice. It feels like that nice gentle breeze you get during that afternoon and stare at the horizon. Then Seokjin and I, holding hands, smiling at each other. I love him... So much... Then, the horizon is fading and night is approaching. Seokjin's smile transitioned slowly into a blank expression. Am I losing him? He's in my arms. I'm scared. He's disappearing. I know there's ups and downs in life, but- isn't this too unbalanced for me? It's almost unfair. I can't hold him anymore- Seokjin. Let me hold you again...

Seokjin...

It's all happening again. I'm growing happy at ease, and can finally get the thought of any negative feelings out of sight. The light I adore and admired would always slowly flicker, before breaking into shards before me. Leaving small cuts and deep wounds into my skin. The shakeyness of my breath that exhales can't even seem to calm me anymore due to the fact I'm going to lose Seokjin. My father was taken to the hospital, lost his memories. Seokjin got stabbed and now being under professionals- which I hope they will save Seokjin.

It hurts.

Why does it hurt to hold someone that you love so close, only for either you or them to get hurt? These questions I want answered will only be told by either misfortunes or death. Makes you hate love, but you're just hating yourself for making these decisions. You lead it here and it stings to hear these thoughts point the finger at me

and instead of fighting back, I accepted that it was my fault.

The fact Seokjin was touched with a blade. He was hurt right next to me, holding hands. Holding to each other. When I could've fucking beat the shit out of the man there.

I'm sorry... I'm sorry, Seokjin.
I love you, but I couldn't protect you.

You let a man hurt an angel. That's what you did, Jungkook.

Jungkook couldn't hold in by staying still. He called Namjoon's number.

"Hyung....? Please hurry to the hospital... Seokjin's hurt and I don't think I'll live if he leaves me.."

"Jungkook, you're going to live even after Seokjin's death. I doubt he'll die because he's stronger than you think, okay? I just fucking know it. Look for positives. He's being handled by doctors at a hospital. I'm gonna meet you soon, so don't go fucking dying on me too." Namjoon's small speech didn't seem to effect Jungkook that much, but he took the words into mind and not let them out the other ear.

Namjoon arrived at the hospital and saw a badly depressed Jungkook, sitting on a plain-simple bench in the empty, lonesome hallway.

"Hey."

Jungkook slowly raised his head to his Hyung and suddenly tears dropped from his damp stained salty cheeks. "People I love keep ending up in hospitals.. Seokjin could've been prevented if I had him on my other side. Maybe instead of focusing googly eyes onto him, then I should've just kept guard and look around the area." Namjoon sighed softly and shook his head.

"No." Jungkook gave Namjoon a confused saddening look.

"You know damn well you weren't aware that an area would be dangerous at night for that moment. You don't get your attention off of Seokjin when you love him. It's natural. You can love him. You can still hold him on whatever side he's on. If you ever gave less love to Seokjin, we all know his insecurities would jump in and have second thoughts."

Jungkook was aware of this, but the possibilities and many roads that could've lead to Seokjin to stay by his side and not under a group of doctors just to be saved, the thoughts haunt him. Jungkook is in a loop. Namjoon could tell he's barely putting a dent into the younger by his facial expressions. It was frustrating, but Namjoon thought it'd be best to lecture him once Seokjin is alive and well before them.

Hours passed. Just when Jungkook was about to walk off and shame himself, the room's light dimmed. The doctor steps out in his dull green doctor uniform and a small grim look revealed after pulling off his face mask. A hesitant sigh escapes his lips, Jungkook staring at the doctor with anticipation that asks if Seokjin will be alright or not?

Jungkook's chest tightened when the doctor slowly kneeled before him. The doctor grips his knees as he lowered his head to Jungkook.

"Because one our doctors were under the influence, he had made a grave mistake on the patient, therefore we couldn't save him."

Jungkook's heart dropped and his head spun. Reality turned into a blur and he felt light on his feet. Namjoon scoffed heavily as if his heart could've been torn out. "What the hell..? Why are you saying some stupid shit..? This is a damn hospital... you're all doctors!" Jungkook shouts behind his choked sobs. He picked up the doctor by his collar, his angered heated face before the doctor's pitied one. Jungkook began to lose it and laughed in the doctor's face "Made a grave mistak- A grave mistake!? under the fucking influence, you fucking assholes!?!?"

Jungkook's voice broke and quivered. "His smile and his silly stupid laugh and his affection towards me, the love and patience he had for my father, his friendships with Namjoon and others--"
He gasped sharply "All of that is gone, and that's your grave mistake! You took his life from me!! You took his life from my future!!! You took Seokjin from me!!" Jungkook raised his hand to hit the doctor only for it to be held back from Namjoon. Jungkook squirmed and screamed in agony.

"My love!!!" He shouts at the top of his lungs.

"My Seokjin!!!!"

He saw his world crumble.

"My Husband!!"

"My Everything!!!"

"All because of a damn influenced Doctor!!!! Fuck you all! Fuck people! Fuck this world!" Namjoon grits his teeth as he's trying to keep in the strength that slips out from every tear that falls as he hears the pain in Jungkook's voice. "Jungkook, let's go." Namjoon's voice shook. Jungkook finally stopped his squirming and collapsed on the floor, he was breaking at every second.

He abuses the floor tiles with his weakened fist that throw its anger onto the textured floor.

Nothing will bring him back.

The fact this is reality never pained me so much. The reason why everyone loves life because it's such a prettylike, but death knocks the painful truth into you and it's too late.

"I wanna die, Seokjin.."

Jungkook weakly held to the doctors leg. His lip quivered and looked up at the Male with frightened apologetic eyes.

Namjoon picked up Jungkook and wrapped the younger's arm around his shoulder. He turned to the doctor, a tear dropping from his damp cheeks

"You failed to save one hell of a precious life. I hope you keep that in mind next time another doctor is under the influence." Namjoon walked off with the depressed dragged other. Leaving the hospital as two now. The third left behind, blood stained by the hands of life savers.

How Ironic....

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To be continued....