Soulmates

.27.

The next few days I can't concentrate on anything, except Chloe. I've been crying my eyes out and don't get out of bed. I know the other bellas are worried about me, but I can't help it. I'm so scared that Chloe doesn't wake up from her coma. It's almost a month and she had two seizures! How can I be positive when there's nothing to be positive about? One seizure is bad enough, but two... that's most of the time deadly. How can I know she doesn't get another one? I've been watching Netflix for the whole day. I only come out of this dorm to shower, but furthermore, I can't go to the hospital or to the bellas. Everything reminds me of Chloe and it sucks. I sit upright against the headboard of my bed and start a new episode of "Supergirl". Nobody knows about my two favorite series and I want to keep it that way. The only one who can know is Amy because she's my roommate, but I highly doubt it. She's way too busy with her boyfriend Bumper. I still can't believe that they are dating, while they couldn't stand each other. The bellas have won the finals because of me, but it doesn't satisfy me. Don't get me wrong, I love to make them happy, especially Chloe, but it isn't a start. If I want a career as a professional music producer, then I have to get myself into the big picture. Hollywood Records is a company where I can be who I want to be and prove to my father that becoming a DJ or music-producer isn't wrong and can be successful. He still tries to convince me that a job as a doctor or lawyer is better than being a music producer. Amy and Stacie are very happy that I'm moving in three weeks because they've been dreaming of living in Los  Angeles for years now and I'm very excited too. I just hope Emily wants to come with me too. I know she can be a great singer and that I can help her become a famous singer.

,,There you are!" I startle because of Amy's voice who barge in loudly enough. Every time I'm watching one of my series, somebody needs to barge into my room. I groan while putting it on pause. ,,We've been looking for you all around Barden. Haven't you been to classes?"

,,No Amy, I can't go to classes when Chloe still lies in that coma. I can't even concentrate on my music. I'm addicted to her and I can't ignore my feelings anymore."

,,Are you going to tell her how you feel?"

,,I have no choice, I will regret it if I don't tell her."

,,Maybe your confession will change everything?"

,,I don't think so. Chloe was very clear about us. She loves me, but she put me into the friend-zone. I can not have her and now not at all anymore. She is pregnant from Tom and she wants to stay here with her unborn child."

,,How do you know that? You haven't even asked Chloe to come with you."

,,Because Chloe wants to finish her education. She wants to graduate and live in a surrounding that's familiar. I love that about her, I really do, but I can't go on without her. I need her in my life. We will remain friends, but nothing more."

,,Aubrey said that Chloe is in love with you."

,,Aubrey doesn't know what she's talking about. I asked Chloe if she loved me and wanted to be with me, but she turned me down." When I think about it, the tears appear once again. ,,She broke my heart okay?! That isn't something anybody can fix. Yes, I need Chloe in my life, yes I am hopelessly in love with her, but she doesn't want to be with me."

,,Than we have to make her regret that decision."

,,What do you mean?"

,,Well, when you're in LA we're going to find you one hot girlfriend. Chloe will be really jealous."

,,I don't know if that's the right thing to do. Remember when we tried that with Lindsey?"

,,Lindsey got pregnant."

,,That's what I mean. If I do the same with another girl in LA... it won't work with children."

,,Why not?"

,,I'm not good with children and by the way, I will never see myself as a mom."

,,You'll be a great mother and I'm going to be the best aunt your children ever had seen." I start laughing, but she's serious.

,,Amy, for the next four years, there will be no child in my life okay?"

,,And what about Chloe's child? If you keep in touch with her, you'll see her son or daughter too."

,,That's true, but that's not my child."

,,What were you doing anyway?" Amy change the subject, which I'm happy about.

,,Watching 'Supergirl', why do you ask?"

,,Have you been busy making music?"

,,No." I look down at my hands. ,,I know it sounds silly and stupid, but I don't feel like trying without Chloe. She was the one who listened to them beforehand and gave her honest opinion... now that she isn't here... I can't seem to do this right anymore."

,,But you're the big BM!"

,,Well, I'm not that big anyway." Amy starts laughing.

,,Good one Beca, but seriously. How are you going to make mashups or remixes when you're in LA without Chloe?"

,,I don't know okay? I don't know what I'm supposed to do anymore. Nothing seems right anymore, not without Chloe." I look Amy in the eye, but I should've have done that because I start crying really hard. Amy close my laptop, take out my earplugs and pull me into her arms. ,,I just miss her so much! And I can't go to the hospital anymore -"

,,Why not?"

,,Because every time I look at her face, it kills me. She doesn't deserve to lie there in that fucking coma, she doesn't deserve anything that happened to her!"

,,I know, but shutting everybody out isn't the solution. Beca, we all care about you just as much as we care about Chloe. If you need anyone, just text us and we're here for you. You aren't alone in this, we all have your back and we all hope that Chloe will be out of that coma soon. You need to believe in her!"

,,I do believe in her -"

,,Then you should be with her. I get that you don't want to be alone with her, so if you want I can come with you, but you're letting Chloe down right now."

,,I'm not letting her down!" I yell, but I know I'm lying. Amy gets out of the hug and lets me look into her eyes.

,,Yes you are, you're giving up on her. Chloe needs you and you need her, so don't be stubborn and come with us to the hospital. I am for a hundred percent sure that Chloe wants to see you first when she wakes up."

,,You really think so?"

,,Of course, she loves you."

,,Okay fine, I'm coming with you to the hospital, but not today."

,,We're going end of this week, because that's the last day she can wake up before the doctors pull out the plug."  I swallow and just nod. Just thinking about that moment, when they pull out the plug... Please Chlo, you can't let them do that to you. You need to wake up, please I beg you! I don't know what I'm going to do if you'll die... so please wake up, we all need you!