Cardiac Arrest (Lapidot)

Chapter 10

I was screaming at the top of my lungs into my pillow, feeling the heat of my breath spread all over my face since the pillow could no longer take my screaming. I lifted my head and gasped for air, glaring at my wall. You kissed her. You fucking. KISSED HER. WHAT FUCKING DRUG ARE YOU ON PERIDOT?! I repeatedly slapped my face, shutting my eyes tightly and groaning loudly. I dry sobbed, and my heart beat sped up. I felt an eerily warm substance suddenly stream down my upper lip, and I reached up to my face.

I touched beneath my nose, and pulled away. I grunted as I saw blood on my fingers. Nosebleed. I tend to get those when I ovERREACT. I clamped my right hand over my nose, and climbed off of my bed. I approached my door and opened it with my free hand. I walked out straight to the bathroom across the hall. I felt for the light switch, and flipped it on once I found it. I peered into the mirror displayed in front of me, and huffed when I spotted blood drops on my t-shirt. Dammit.

I grabbed tissue from beside the toilet, and ripped a piece off. I carefully rolled it up and twisted the piece into my bleeding nostril. "You okay in here?" I bristled as I heard another voice enter the bathroom. I saw Amethyst standing in the doorway through the mirror. "Yeah... I'm fine." I muttered, quickly looking down. She leaned against the doorframe, and raised an eyebrow. "I heard screaming and grunting coming from your room. Sounded like you were killing someone in there." Amethyst giggled.

"Maybe I was." I briefly replied. I turned to her slightly, and she rolled her eyes. "You know you could tell me anything right?" she asked, tipping her head back. I grumpily hummed in response, leaning closer to the mirror. "Something's been bothering you... or at least been making you feel... and act different. Why don't you just... spit it out?" I thought for a moment, staring down at the counter now. "Nothing is wrong, Amethyst. I assume Jasper told you about the cop situation." I murmured. Amethyst nodded and pursed her lips.

"Well... what part is stressing you out? It ain't that hard to keep a lil' secret from a friend." Amethyst explained. A friend. A  f r i e n d. "You don't understand, Amethyst... this isn't a little secret. It's a big secret. I'm a criminal. She's a cop. She's bound to find out if I'm not careful enough." I argued. "I know... the only thing I could say is just keep your distance." Amethyst replied. I looked over at her. "I can't keep my distance! I can't just... I can't." I cut myself off before saying anything I'd regret. There was some silence for a few moments, and I awkwardly looked away toward the toilet. "...Peridot?" I didn't turn my head.

"What's going on?" Amethyst asked in a soft tone I hadn't heard in a while. I shakily sighed, and felt my anxiety rise. "...nothing." I flatly replied, hoping my voice didn't crack. "Peridot." she repeated, and I tensed up. I shook my head and bit down on my tongue. Don't tell her. Don't tell her. Keep your mouth shut. Keep it shut. I only let out a whimper, causing me to shut my eyes tightly in embarrassment.

I heard Amethyst's footsteps grow closer, and I tensed up further. "C'mon, Peri. Spill it." she said placing a hand on my shoulder. I started to tremble, and I whimpered again involuntarily. I groaned loudly, covering my face with my hands. "I have feelings for her! Hell, I might even be in love with her!" I blurted, throwing my hands in the air. Amethyst took her hand off of my shoulder and stared at me in awe. "I-I don't know what to do! I can't stop thinking about her, Amethyst! I can't. It's a fucking issue! I can't sleep. I can't function properly during missions. I just... it's too much." I slammed the toilet lid closed and sat down on it.

I felt a headache coming on, and I held my head in my bloody hands. "Aw, Peridot... why didn't you say anything sooner?" she asked, kneeling in front of me. "Because! It's too much of a hassle. Jasper tried prying it out of me just so she could go search for the god damn cop herself!" I whined. "I don't know what to do..." I whispered shakily. Silence filled the room for a long time, and I suddenly felt kinda bad for pouring all of this on Amethyst. I knew she wasn't too experienced with this kind of stuff.

"I'm sorry, Peri. Maybe if you just told Jasper to better un-" "N-NO! You can't tell Jasper! You can't tell anyone! Amethyst please!" I begged, now looking at her. Amethyst giggled, holding up her hands in defense. "I won't, I won't." she replied quietly. "Thank you..." I sighed, closing my eyes once again. "You know... you could even use this to your advantage." Amethyst then muttered, and my eyes shot open.

My system boiled with anger, and I furrowed my eyebrows. "I mean, you could get some insight." she said, shrugging. I groaned loudly, and stood up quickly. I left the bathroom without another word.