Cardiac Arrest (Lapidot)

Chapter 20

Lapis looked horrified as she stared at me in awe, and I looked away shamefully. Her grip on me loosened, but she hadn't released me just yet. "P...Peridot?"  her voice was shaky, and she scrunched up her eyebrows. "I...L-Lapis...I-I can explain!" I whimpered, feeling the lump in my throat grow unbearably large. Tears began spilling down my cheeks, and my breath hitched. "I-I...I didn't mean for things to go down this road...I-I'm sorry. I was gonna tell you! I-I...I..." my sorry excuse for an explanation was interrupted by my own sob.

Lapis only continued to stare at me, and she most certainly looked hurt and confused. "Peridot...y-you...I...you-" I immediately flinched and shut my eyes tightly as I heard another gunshot. I instinctively tried to shield myself, but failed, since I still had handcuffs on. My eyes opened slowly once again, and I looked down at myself, relieved that I hadn't been injured yet. I looked back up at the cop, and she remained silent. I felt myself begin to tremble, afraid of what her next move...or next word was going to be. 

"L-Lapis?" I whimpered, clenching my fists behind my back. Lapis's gaze then flickered down, and I was confused for a moment. I carefully followed her gaze downward, and as soon as I spotted it, I felt my face go pale. Blood slowly streamed down from a bullet wound in Lapis' chest, and her shaky hands released me. She took a step back, and she looked terrified as she stared down at her injury. "L-LAPIS!!" I cried, feeling more tears stream down my face.

"DON'T WORRY PERIDOT I GOTCHA! C'MON LET'S BOOK IT!!" I heard Jasper shout in the distance. Lapis' eyes grew half-lidded, and her head swayed back and forth eerily. She stumbled forward, and slumped against me, weakly holding onto me."P-Peridot." she barely audibly wheezed, and her grip only grew weaker every second. I yanked with all of my strength, attempting to escape my handcuffs, but they unfortunately didn't budge. "PERIDOT, WHAT'RE YOU DOING?! LET'S GO!!" I heard Amethyst holler, but I ignored her. 

"LAAAPIS!!!" I cried louder, only being able to watch as Lapis eventually released me once again. She fell to the ground, attempting to hold herself up with her elbows. I thrashed my arms hysterically, feeling my heart ache. I fell to my knees, panting harshly as I stared down at Lapis. "Lapis! I-I'm so sorry! P-please stay with me, I-I didn't-FUCK!! FUCK FUCK FUCK!!" I hollered at the top of my lungs as I continued to thrash my wrists. Lapis' elbows shakily collapsed, and she fell onto her back. 

There was no sign of the blood leaking from her wound stopping, and I was shaking violently. Lapis furrowed her eyebrows, and barely opened one of her eyes to look up at me. "S-SOMEONE GET ME OUT OF THESE!!" I screamed, sobbing. I felt her hand softly touch my knee, and I stopped freaking out for a second. Lapis stared at me, not saying anything, but tears filling her eyes. She parted her lips to say something, but an incredibly quiet grunt only escaped them. "L-Lapis...I'm so sorry..." I whispered, clenching my fists tighter in my handcuffs. 

"Y-you're gonna be okay...it's gonna be okay! You'll be okay, Lapis! Lapis Lazuli you're gonna be just fine, okay?!" I frantically rambled, leaning closer to her. I felt her fingers shift slightly on my knee, and I looked down at them. I wanted to hold her hand so badly, but my restraints prevented me from doing so. "I love you so much...I'm so sorry, Lapis...th-this wasn't supposed to happen..." I sobbed, shutting my eyes tightly for a second, feeling my warm tears stain my cheeks further. When I opened my eyes again, my breath hitched and I let out another involuntary sob. 

"I love you so much..." I whispered, growing more upset as I was getting no response from any outsiders. Lapis continued to look at me sorrowfully, and she weakly nodded. I halted my crying as soon as I felt Lapis' fingers stop moving. I looked down at them, and her hand very slowly began to slide off my knee. "N-no...Lapis please stay awake, i-it'll be okay! You're gonna be okay! You're not leaving me! Not now!" I hissed through my teeth, and my head started to pound. Her hand flopped onto the ground, and her head tilted slightly.

"Y-you can't...you can't...I love you..." my voice cracked, and I gave everything to keep myself from passing out. Lapis only weakly nodded again, and her eyelids fell closed. Her previous tensed up fingers uncurled, and her body slackened. Her head turned to the right as it went limp, and her furrowed eyebrows relaxed. My eyes widened, and I was completely silent. I couldn't take my eyes off of her, and it felt like my whole world had just collapsed under me.

"La-a..." I couldn't even say her name aloud without choking up. I groaned loudly, and felt my breath hitch again. My nose was running, and I was a sniffling mess. Rivers of crimson continued to flow in several directions from her body across the pavement. I didn't bother to try and escape anymore, and I just sat in front of Lapis on my knees, staring. "Peridot!" I heard Jasper shout my name again, but I didn't respond. I leaned my body forward, and rested my head on Lapis' chest. 

I heard heavy footsteps behind me, and they came to a halt. "What's your deal?! We have to go!" Jasper cried, grabbing my arm. I growled loudly and yanked my arm away from her grip. I buried my face deeper into Lapis' bloody shirt, and I felt my tears soak into it. "Dude..." Amethyst muttered. After a few moments of silence, I heard Jasper make a strange grunt noise. "Ah fuck...that's...her...isn't it?" she asked, and the cracks in her voice emphasized her shame. "Shiiiiitt!! Jasper did you shoot her cop girlfriend?!" Amethyst asked in a loud voice. 

"She never confirmed it was her girlfriend, but-" "LEAVE!!! JUST FUCKING LEAVE!! I NEVER WANNA SEE EITHER OF YOUR FACES EVER AGAIN, YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! YOU FUCKING RUINED IT! YOU RUINED EVERYTHING! LIKE YOU ALWAYS DO!!!" I shouted at the top of my lungs, sitting back up. I couldn't stop crying, and a loud whimper escaped my throat. "Peridot...there was no way I could've know-" "STOP! Just...stop..." my voice was shaky at the last part, and I sniffled again. I leaned forward again, and laid my head back on Lapis' chest. 

I shut my eyes tightly, just hoping to wake up from this horrible nightmare. I wanted to go back in time. I should've told her the truth when I had a chance...back at the coffee shop...hell, back at her house. I had so many opportunities to tell her...but I didn't take a single one of them. I realized that the deeper I sunk into this situation as a whole...the deeper I dug my own grave. The deeper this empty void inside me grew. I had a chance to be honest with the woman I loved...but I didn't take it. This deception...these lies...this all just led to one thing. This was the only grave hole it blew me into. My feelings were crushed...by none other than myself.

I heard loud thumps, and Jasper grunting loudly, as well as Amethyst. "Stay down, ladies!" a man's voice commanded, and I assumed the cops took them down. "No! LET GO OF ME!!" Jasper growled, and I heard Amethyst grunting louder. "OFFICER DOWN! CALL THE PARAMEDICS! STAT!" the man's voice shouted, and I kept my eyes closed. "This one's already cuffed." the man approached behind me, and grabbed both of my arms. "N-no...NO!! NO NO NO! LET GO LET GO!!" I screamed, kicking my legs violently as he lifted me off of Lapis. He lifted me back up to my feet, and I tried to drop back down to Lapis' level.

"P-please! YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND! PLEAASEE!!" I pleaded desperately, thrashing harder. "Ma'am, you're under arrest. You have the right to remain silen-" "NOOOOOO!!!!" I screamed again, thrashing hysterically. "I NEED HER!! I CAN'T LEAVE HER!! SHE CAN'T LEAVE ME I-" "MA'AM!! YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO REMAIN SILENT! Anything you say may be used against you in a court of law!" he cut me off, keeping a tight grip on me. He began to walk me to down the street, and I attempted to look over his shoulder. I watched as Lapis lay there motionlessly, and another officer was knelt down beside her. 

I jolted, trying to rip from the cop's grip, but failed. He was stronger than I was, and I started coughing. I grew more choked up as I continued to sob, and I kept my body twisted so Lapis wouldn't leave my sight for even a second. "LAAPISSSS!!!" I hollered, and it already felt like I was losing my voice. I then frantically threw my head backwards, headbutting the officer most likely in the nose. He grunted loudly, loosening his grip on me. Just when I thought I was able to escape, he tazed me.