kim jennie | bts 8th member

sick and more fights

we were preparing for our comeback and we've worked hard.

with our new song 'idol' we had to sacrifice our sleep daily to keep up with everything. not to mention that the choreography has subsequently gotten harder from the day we debut.

jin definitely has complained online about the dances getting harder every time we come back with a new song.

but that doesn't stop him or us from working any harder to satisfy army.

i hate it when i get sick and my members find out, they'd make it a big deal and i don't want to make it seem like i was selfish and have all the attention all to me.

of course the reason why i've put this to your attention is because it's happened before.

remember when jungkook and i fought because i took away his title about being the new maknae? well. it is yet again a battle between the maknaes.

i didn't want it to happen but here's the full story. it all started with a hectic day and weeks before we had our comeback.

-

we had a full day of rehearsals and interviews to go to before our comeback that was coming soon. i felt a little sick but this time i didn't want to tell anyone as it was an important week for us and we all have different parts to focus on and i don't want to interrupt the momentum.

at first i only felt like a flu was going to come but i never pay attention to those as they always come and go as i have a weak stomach.

but then the following week, i had a fever. but i didn't want a big deal out of it so after midnight i went to a nearby pharmacy and got myself a cool patch and extra medicines.

i thought that was the end of it till when i came home, jungkook caught me and asked where i went. not wanting attention, i said i went on a little walk.

jungkook lately was being weird but i took it as a sign of stress so i tried my best not to trouble him any more.

i walked past him into the kitchen and got a glass of water and went upstairs to my room. i put my cup on my side table and took out the newly bought medicines and ate a couple and laid down on my bed, closing my eyes wanting to get rest before we practice tomorrow knowing that i would have to wake up early for it.

the next day, i woke up with my alarm blaring. i sat up and zoned out a little before standing up and going to the bathroom to freshen up.

going out of the bathroom, i saw jin sitting on my bed, looking at me intently.

i gave him a questioning look as to why he was looking at me like that.

he picked up my cooling patch and medicines and came by me.

oops, he saw them. here we go again.
he came to me and put his hand on my forehead cursing slightly and hit my arm.

'why didn't you tell me?' he asks, face full of concerned.

'i didn't want it to be a big deal, besides, i can take care of myself' i said.

i walked out the door afterwards, not waiting for an answer.

-

hours came by and i was sitting on the couch with a blanket on me with popcorn while watching legally blonde by myself.

a few minutes later, everyone came in to the room, staring at me. except for jungkook, weirdly he wasn't there.

i laid there questioning why they stared at me like i've grown extra limbs.

'you're sick, and you didn't care to tell us' jimin started the conversation.

'yeah, but why did i have to say anything. i could take care of myself, it's not like i had a disease.' i replied.

'we just care about your wellbeing' namjoon says.

'i know, but we all were stress these days. i didn't want to bother anyone.' i said.

all six of them then came to me and hugged me tight like it was the last day on earth.

i hugged back as tightly and assured them that i was perfectly fine and they could go back and do what they were doing while i watched movies.

they went back to their studios and rooms and continued doing their work, finally leaving me alone.

-

for the next few days, it was weird. everyone became cautious of me. and again, except for jungkook. i wasn't complaining that jungkook wasn't there, it was just weird as he would always be the first one who'd make sure i was in perfect condition.

i hated the attention though. it killed me inside.

i knew they cared but i'm old enough to take care of myself. now, just because i didn't inform them that i was sick once, i've gotten more attention that wasn't necessary.

jungkook on the other hand felt jealous to say the least. jennie got all the attention, why not him?

he wanted to join the crowd but he couldn't help but feel left out.

so he wanted to confront jennie about it. he hated that she always gets the attention.

-

i sat on the couch watching movies while everyone else was working on something and jungkook come down.

'jungkook, i missed you. where have you been?' i started a conversation.

'don't act innocent, jennie. i despise you a lot nowadays and you know why' he replies angrily.

i tilted my head, questioning why he had became so mad at me for no reason. was he also mad that i didn't tell him i was sick? no, that'd be stupid.

i sat there collecting all my thoughts, still wondering why he had gotten so mad. even so that i had forgotten that he still was standing there.

'you're such an attention seeker, i hate you' he says again but this time he storms out the door.

tears filled my eyes. attention seeker? i was clueless but felt like he was right.

-

for the next few weeks, i haven't been seeing jungkook. i would see him during dinner or practice but he wouldn't spare me a glance.

i tried to apologise but that went wrong.

'jungkook, i'm sorry. i didn't mean to get the attention.' i said to him while trying to catch up with his long strides to his room.

he turns his face to me and opens his mouth.

'you shouldn't even be in bangtan, after you joined the group became worse' he replies.

i felt a pang in my chest.

'you didn't mean that, right?' i say, my voice shaking.

'i meant it with all my heart, jennie.' he says before walking off.

ouh this is not the end. i wont just give up so easily.

i caught his wrist, pulling him near me before opening my mouth to say something else.

slap.

i fell on the floor, thoughts left my mind. what was that?

it took me a while to realise he had just slapped me and pushed me on the floor.

i looked up to meet his gaze and saw his eyes full of hatred. he snickered before walking in his room.

i weakly stood up and went in the room.

i looked at my reflection on the mirror on my vanity and saw a hand print straight across my cheek, still stinging.

yup, that's how that went. and to be honest, i'm just mad at myself more. for not noticing that he wasn't with us all these time.