kim jennie | bts 8th member

solo stage on tour

it's been a few months since my first solo song, solo came out and now bangtan and i are packing for a long world tour.

this time it was all asia countries. and i'm happy to announce to army that we all would have our own solo performances for the concert.

i had been practicing hard lately and trying to motivate myself more since i've been getting hate for being lazy on stage.

honestly, i would be disappointed as an army too so i could only blame myself. but the only excuse i had was that i was so exhausted. i worked in the studio from before the sun rises to after midnight and that leaves me to no sleep at all sometimes.

if i was lucky, i'd get to sleep in the studio till someone wakes me up to practice something else.

yoongi has been around me a lot lately, making sure i had enough sleep but he couldn't force me since he had the exact same habits. but nonetheless, he would pull me into his room sometimes and force me to close my eyes and sleep even for a few hours and i was very grateful for that.

lately too, i've had a high fever but that always leaves my mind. i'd just eat medicine and head out the door for another full day of schedules.

-

only a few hours till the concert and we are at the venue to do sound tests and the only thing that was on my mind was how much pain i was in. my head was about to burst any second. i didn't get a blink of sleep last night. i told my manager to drop me off at bighit and i finished up perfecting all choreography for the tour. i didn't want to be on front cover because i was lazy again. i want to redeem myself.

therefore when i reached the arena for our concert, all i could think about was how good it felt to be in bed at that moment. but things don't go our way so i had to go through it till the day ended.

-

turns out, nothing went well. we ended our sound tests and i was grumpy. for a lot of reasons. firstly, staffs didn't show up till two hours after sound test and we couldn't do much about it. apparently there was a huge traffic and some slept in. ouh how i wish i could say the same. i'm here, not getting a blink of sleep and here they were, oversleeping. secondly, i was being blamed for multiple reasons, one being 'lazy' and 'not cooperative' and the other being for zoning out too much. and lastly, our mics did not cooperate whatsoever. we sounded awful. the sound system would break down every minute and the music would het cut off.

i mean, who could blame me for zoning out, everyone had enough sleep but me. but all i wanted today was it to end and for me to get sleep.

but who knew that there was more to that on that day.

-

backstage while everyone was getting their hair and makeup done, no one acknowledged jennie. everyone was mad at her. jennie tried to act oblivious and talk to them sometimes but it became too obvious that everyone wanted her to just leave them alone.

so that's what she did, she sat on the couch alone on her phone while waiting to get her makeup done next while the rest of bangtan talks to each other. this time she felt lonely, too lonely. even yoongi wouldn't talk to her.

on a normal day, she'd react and apologise but today all that was on her head was that killer headache she had. sometimes her ears would get blocked as if she was about to pass out but she couldn't risk fainting, especially not when the concert was about to start in two hours. she had to fight all the pain.

'in the end, it'll be all worth it' she thought to herself.

half and hour pasts and no one was talking to her. except for the staffs but they only spoke to her when it was needed, like what she wanted to eat or what if she had a preference for what to wear. she'd always be the bossy on to what she'd want to wear but this time, her headache stopped her from making any choices. and to be completely honest, staffs and even bangtan got concerned. but still brushed it off anyways.