After sitting in my truck for hours, I finally gave up all hope of her coming back. I called her phone at least twenty times in hopes of her answering, but she never did. Begging and pleading was never my style, but then again, I've never had to beg for anything. I left message after message, thinking that maybe she would listen to what I had to say and hear the desperation in my voice. Unfortunately, she never returned any of my calls.
For hours, my emotions drifted back and forth between guilt to rage, mostly aimed at Nicole. I tried to reason with myself that I only actually knew Jennifer for a few weeks, but deep down inside, I knew the truth. I had developed feelings for her just the same, only I didn't want to admit it to myself. When she told me that she loved me, I purposely used it as an excuse to distance myself from her. It was a stupid mistake and had I been more mature about it, things would be so different.
I got out of the truck and walked up the steps, just wanting to make sure that her door was closed before I left. Of course, Nicole left it wide open for anyone to walk inside. Reaching my hand around to lock the back of the door knob, I pulled it closed. I wasn't ready to leave just yet and paced back and forth, afraid that if I were to leave, she would show up right after.
I slowly descended the steps and shoved my hands in my pockets, waiting around for a while. She wasn't coming back tonight. I walked back to my truck and headed over to Luke's.
The drive to his house was short, but I didn't see her car and after my awkward meeting with Luke this afternoon, I just kept going. I left Calabasas and went back to LA, desperate to shower and cleanse myself of any remnants of Nicole.
Finally, I pulled up at home and got out the truck, slamming the door. I tossed my keys and phone down on the counter top. I had to face it, I fucked up and Jen wasn't going to call back. She was done with me.
I ran up the stairs and started the water in the shower. Thinking back to my stupid decision, I cursed myself as I peeled the clothes from my body and stepped under the hot water.
I stood under the hot stream, wishing that the water could somehow wash away the mistake I made tonight. I tried to focus on other things, my music and what I'd be doing once filming wrapped up, but my thoughts kept drifting back to the look on Jen's face when she walked in on Nicole and I. I shut off the water and got out, dressing quickly.
I snatched my phone off of the countertop and dialed Jen's number once more. When I didn't get an answer, I headed upstairs, frustrated and exhausted.
It was a struggle to sleep. I woke up every few hours and couldn't seem to get comfortable in any position. Tossing the covers off my naked body, I gave up trying to sleep.
Nicole really screwed things up for me. She not only ruined my relationship with Jen, but by fucking my brother, she made it impossible for me to go to him for advice. He would probably tell me to shake it off and move on. He hadn't had the best luck with love himself and never saw the real Nicole anyway.
I picked up my guitar and headed into the lab. I thought I'd try and occupy myself with music. If I could lose myself in a song, maybe it would ease my guilty conscience for just a while and I may be able to relax. It was working until my phone rang and I raced across the room only to be disappointed to see Shayla's name lit up on the screen. She sent a text stating that she was on her way over to help get things ready for London.
We packed and had the bags at the door. Shayla took the passports and put them in her bag just before she left. I finally got comfortable on the couch, watching a movie and eventually fell asleep. I guess exhaustion finally won out. When I woke up the next morning, I actually had to scramble to get ready in time.
I had hoped that Jen was on our flight, but of course, she wasn't. During the long plane ride, I was extremely restless and irritable, snapping at Shayla for joking around with me. Of course I apologized right away, but judging by the look on her face, she knew something was off.
We finally arrived and checked into the same hotel, luckily booking a room on the same floor that Jen was on last time. It was my hope that she was staying on the exact same floor this time. That way I could hopefully bump into her by accident.
I was a bit groggy and needed to sleep off the jet lag, but my restless mind wasn't having it. The short walk didn't help much and I reluctantly returned to the hotel, making my way through the lobby, and took the elevator up to my floor. Upon exiting, I came face to face with the one person that had been avoiding me for days, Jen.
