Thanks to Jennifer, I had an extremely restless night and was relieved to kept be busy all morning with mars related business. Unfortunately, after having a leisurely lunch with a friend, I wound up back at home with absolutely nothing to do. I had given Shayla the day off and it was strangely quiet around the house. A walk occupied me for a while, but when I returned, I was unable to stop myself from dialing Jennifer's number. She agreed to talk to me and asked if I could come by around six.
She arrived home almost a half an hour late, probably because she stopped to pick up some food. However, dinner was the farthest thing from my mind, but whatever. I just wanted to talk to her and tell her how I felt about her seeing another man. There was no way I could sleep last night, knowing she was out with some random guy, she was mine.
Of course, when I didn't get right to the point, she laid out the rules of what she claimed our meaningless relationship would be. I didn't actually believe this was the kind of bond she wanted with me. She just wasn't that kind of person and I was pretty sure that she was trying to give me a taste of my own medicine, which I deserved.
If I wasn't careful, this whole thing would blow up in my face. Deep down I knew what needed to be done. I would have to swallow my pride and just give us a chance. Leaning against the countertop, I watched her mix together a salad as I thought over the words I wanted to say.
All I wanted was another chance to prove to her that I can change. That even though I don't normally involve myself in monogamous relationships, I was willing to try. I intended to tell her how disappointed I was when I woke up all alone yesterday morning.
She grabbed the bowl of salad, but it put it down when I moved in to hug her. My lips pressed firmly against hers, but the kiss remained soft, gentle, and slow. My fingers slipped under her hair, below her ear, and my thumb moved along her jaw. Her arms slid around my waist, pulling me closer, deepening the kiss.
Breaking away, I pressed my forehead against hers. "I need you to understand something." Pausing, I searched for the right words. "This isn't easy for me." I whispered.
She pulled away, leaning her back to the countertop. "Just say what you feel."
Licking my lips, nervously, I smiled softly. My face flushed and the hairs on the back of my neck stood up. "I can be a greedy bastard sometimes and I do not like to share Jennifer. I don't want you to see that guy anymore."
She giggled, but it wasn't because she thought that what I said was funny, no, she was annoyed. "Get over it." She hissed, shoving my arms away and picking up the bowl of salad before exiting the kitchen.
I reluctantly followed, angry with her for having the nerve to disagree with me. This most certainly wasn't a problem I had often. Women usually did whatever I asked, agreeing easily because they were afraid they'd lose my attention if they didn't. Jennifer was different. Just being near her caused my heart to beat faster in my chest and for the first time in a long time, I worried that when I opened my mouth nothing witty would come out. It had been so long since anyone made me feel this way. "Are you saying that you will continue to date him?"
"Why not? I don't need to remind you of what happened between you and Nicole in that guest room right there, do I?" She nodded toward the hallway. "If you can do it, so can I. Besides, it's not like you're offering me anything exclusive."
Why was I being such a fucking pussy? That was exactly what I wanted, but fear stopped me from opening my mouth. Committing to someone gives them the power to destroy you. By falling in love, you put everything on the line and risk losing it if doesn't work out. That's just too much power for one person to have. "Why are you being so difficult?"
Making us both a plate of food, she sneered. "Jared leave it alone, I'm warning you. If you aren't willing to change your ways, there's nothing to discuss. Now, stop trying to ruin dinner and have a seat."
There it was, she was setting me up with the perfect opportunity to give in and agree to an intimate relationship. So, why couldn't I open my fucking mouth and say it? "Jennifer.."
"I'm sorry, did that sound cold and uncaring? I didn't mean for it to come across that way." She placed her hand on my forearm. "You know how this works, you do it all the time, right?" She grinned. "Sex with no feelings is common. Well, I didn't mean no feelings at all, I can't tell you how to feel obviously. I do have some feelings for you."
"I'm glad to hear that." I could have easily spoke my true feelings had it not been for that smirk. She was savoring the moment, putting me in my place.
"Don't get too happy, I have some feelings for Michael too."
I ran my hand across my face and shook my head. "Yeah, I can't do this." I stood up and pulled my keys from my pocket, walking to the front door.
"Where are you going?" I could hear the panic in her voice as she got up and followed me to the door.
"Home. I think I've had more than enough fun for one night. Have a nice dinner, Jennifer." Without waiting for her response, I walked out the door and made my way down to my truck.
