Reality struck me
fell into my lap
like a wrecking ball
on the roof of
a junk yard car
crushing
brutally destroying
every false hope
dream
fantasy.
People keep saying,
I need a guy.
Asking, when am I gonna date.
And the soul shattering
response- the only
one I know how to
give
is tears collecting
in my eyes before
running like waterfalls
down my face.
I have no one.
I am alone with no prospects,
and not the foggiest idea
how to find any-
even if I did want to,
and in that I'm confused.
More to the point,
I wouldn't have a clue how to date
anyway.
I'm shy, guarded,
loaded with baggage.
The fact that I hit it
off at all with Him,
especially so seamlessly
is what made
it all so shocking,
so surprising,
so real.
My heart and my mind
they've worked against me
concocted a happy story
of a boy and a girl
Made me fall
However, I know the truth,
it could never be-
it's one sided
at best, I'm sure.
Besides that,
there are too many
other reasons
why it could never be,
My heart is breaking
because I am alone
and I am lonely.
My heart is breaking
because I'm afraid
this is all I'll ever be.
-MS
