Dwarf

Chapter 17

I've been painfully neglectful of my stories and I need to step up. I'm so sorry hahddakhdlk I'll like for real try harder, I swear.

Someone come beat me up if I don't update for a while, like seriously. 

I'm also going to be editing this book so uh yeet that you guys my past writing is shit

[Third person pov | The Academy]

"So... you can't make clones." Iruka confirmed.

"Th' feck did I just say, yah chicken shit? 'Course I can't make no damn clones. Th' feck do I look 'ike, 'arry-feckin'-Potter?" Edryn scoffed, rolling her eyes at the man before her. Was he deaf, or just an idiot? She really didn't see the point of going to the academy. All she'd done so far was ruin lives and get into fights. Not to mention the fact that she hadn't learned jack shit since arriving here. Hell, they 'adn't taught her anything. Did they expect her to just know how t' do shit?

"You passed the written part of the exam." Iruka muttered, more to himself than to the dwarf before him. The girl looked extremely annoyed, tapping her foot impatiently as he flipped through some pages, muttering to himself incoherently. Even Mizuki looked mildly uncomfortable, though, when didn't he? "It says here that you're a... special case. Do you have any other abilities that may pass you off as a ninja?"

Edryn shrugged. "I can strangle yeh with a cactus." She offered. "Impale 'ou with a rock."

"Right... anything... less violent you could show us?" Mizuki tried, forcing a smile. Edryn's time here at the academy had been... ah, interesting, to say the least.

"Could chop yet dick off." Edryn said. "Make 'at plant move."

"Why don't you make the plant move, Edryn." Iruka laughed nervously. Mizuki unconsciously pressed his legs together, a bead of sweat dripping down the side of his face. This brat, whoever the hell she was, was terrifying. She'd been shoved in here cursing, and then immediately greeted them both with death threats.

"Oi, 'ou!" She called to the shrub in the corner. Iruka swore he saw it twitched. "Yeah, 'ou. Th' dyin' one!" 

"What's she doing?" Mizuki whispered to Iruka.

"I can 'ear yah!" Edryn snapped at him. "Just 'cause my ears ain't that 'ig don't mean I can't 'ear yah! So shut yer damn trap before I make yah!" 

"So angry." Iruka whispered. Edryn's warning glare was enough to shut him right up. Honestly, the Umino had never met a student so terrifying. Certainly not one the size of a toddler. He wasn't sure if he should be impressed or more terrified for his life. What was stopping her from hunting him down and killing him after she graduated? Once he'd outlived his use, what more was there for him?

"Ay, I'm talkin' to yah." Edryn seemed annoyed. Iruka saw the plant raise itself up, as though raising its head. Both he and Mizuki nearly stopped breathing. "Grow."

She snapped her fingers.

That was all it took. Iruka and Mizuki's mouths fell open as the leaves expanded, the stems branching off of the shrub thickening and getting longer as it exploded with growth. It expanded from the corner, reaching out towards them at a rapid pace. Edryn didn't flinch, waving her hand idly. It stopped, one of its now-gargantuan leaves stopping an inch from her face. The plant seemed to purr, almost.

"Y-You pass!" Iruka shrieked, practically throwing a headband at her. Mizuki had fallen out of his seat, staring at the ceiling in a daze. Edryn wondered if she'd get arrested if the plant suffocated the white-haired male, and not her. Something about him was... off. It was something bad, and she found that she didn't like it.

"Feck yeah I do." Edryn scoffed, snatching the headband out of the air. "'ou, shrink."

The plant did as told, though it didn't look dead. It looked bouncy and lively. Happy, almost, as it sat there in the corner. Edryn scoffed, shuffling out of the small room without so much as a thank you or goodbye. Iruka watched her go with wide eyes. He was suddenly very glad it was the Leaf who'd gotten their hands on her. Any other village would have used her as a weapon, and they'd be toast.

"Ah, so you passed?" Ibiki was waiting for her when she exited.

"Shut yer feckin' mouth?" Edryn countered, raising an eyebrow.

"Why the hell are you so vulgar?" He scoffed, lifting her up and letting her settle on his shoulder. Edryn felt annoyed he had no hair for her to pull. Men had sensitive scalps. She would have loved to rip it all out and watch the pain twist its way onto his face, but she could see that wasn't going to happen.

"None of yer feckin' business. Now, I want a damn drink." Edryn demanded.

"You're too young." Ibiki denied immediately as they walked. He felt a little proud that she'd passed. He certainly hadn't expected her to.

~

How she'd gotten the sake, the criminal didn't know. Ibiki didn't either.

He watched from the other side of a slab of one way glass as Edryn thrust the small succulent at the criminal, a bottle of alcohol in hand. Again, Ibiki hadn't seen her grab it, but it was different than the one she'd had five minutes ago, which meant she had more than one stashed around here. He also wasn't sure why he'd let her in there on her own with the rogue, but he was having trouble cracking him, and Edryn had passed.

"Tell me where yer feckin' camp is, twerp." Edryn demanded. She wished she was tipsy, but it would take about eight bottles of pure vodka for that. "Or else."

"Or else what?" The man scoffed. "You gonna throw that thing at my head?"

"Hell yes I am!" Edryn shrieked, reeling her hand back and throwing the pot at his forehead full force. The clay shattered, and the succulent began to grow, twisting around him and engulfing him. Ibiki paled. That was new.

"'ell me where th' feck he is!" Edryn screamed, throwing the empty sake bottle on the ground. The bug-eyed criminal flinched as it shattered, letting out a scream as the succulent began to squeeze him. "I ain't feckin around, chump. 'ell me what ye know, and maybe ye live."

"H-He's hiding out in the Land of Rice Patties, okay?!" The man shrieked. "Gack-"

"Feckin 'ell." Edryn said, sipping her vodka. Ibiki paused, his eyes going to the shattered bottle on the ground, and then the one she was taking swigs from. Where had she-

"Oye!" She turned to the glass as the succulent continued to torture the man. "Cleanup on isle I don't give a feck!"

Ibiki could only groan.