My little dolly

Come back

Dolly's pov:
This can't be happening. I refuse to believe any of this. I sniffed and looked up at the doctor as I started shaking.

"Y-your lying to me...this is all jut a cruel joke! She's ok I know it! She's in that room asleep recovering!!" I pointed to her room as he looked at me sadly.

"I'm sorry miss, we tried everything to keep her stable..I'm so sorry for your loss..you may say your final goodbyes" he walked away as I started to cry harder. I felt momma Zamo pick me up and hold me close to her stoking my hair. I couldn't help but crying into her shoulder.

My beautiful, strong, and caring mother...

Was gone.

My heart aches as the reality hit me more and more. I just needed to be in her arms and feel safe again. I need her to sing me to sleep when I'm up all night with anxiety. I need her to tell me how much she loves me. I need to see her smile at me one more time...

"It's not fucking fair!! It's not!! She doesn't deserve to go through all this pain and misery only for her to leave!! God why did you take her away from me!! Fuck You!! Fuck You give her back!!" I screamed up at the ceiling. My anger was slowly coming out from keeping it built up. I slammed my hands against the walls crying harder. Momma Zamo pulled me back to her and calmed me down until I was just back to crying again.

"Shhhh honey...I know it's not fair...it will be ok...how about we just see her...remember what she said if it didn't go well.." I sniffed nodding and repeated what she told us.

"D-dont mourn for me...c-celebrate the life I had and how I made b-both of yours happier.." she smiled as tears fell.

"You look just like your mother...she's apart of you...she may not be here with us...but in my eyes...she's right in front of me...I can see her through your beautiful blue eyes...she's in a better place now..and she's even looking over us...and telling us it's going to be ok..we'll see her again soon...far in the future where we can all be happy.." I sniffed hugging her more. It hurt so much, but it's like I can feel her with me, hugging me and telling me sweet things.

"I-I wanna see her one last time momma Zamo...I wanna hug her again..." she nodded as we walked to another room. I kept my face hidden not ready to see the sight of her.

"Do you need a few moments baby..I know it's hard right now.." I took a deep breath and picked my head up. More tears fell just seeing her. Not moving or breathing. Just lifeless before me. I shakily walked over to her and just lost it. I hugged her tight crying hard. It didn't feel the same way as it usually does. Her arms didn't wrap around my waist lovingly, it was cold and sad. Katya came behind me and rubbed my back telling me it wasn't going to be ok.

But in reality it's not. The one who I've traveled with, who helped me through tough times, took care of me when I needed it, gave me love when I wanted it the most, who I always managed to smile when she was sad. All my memories with her started flooding in my mind. From the first time I learned to write my name, to the day I was learning to drive. The one who carried me. I took her hand and put it up to my face, I sniffed feeling her could touch, it was the closest thing to reality.

"I-I love you mommy...t-thank you for everything" I tried to swallow the hard lump in my throat but it was too difficult. It hurt me so much not hearing her say it back with a smile.

I'm completely heartbroken, and no one can ever fix the big hole in my heart...