Journals | Shaylor

N i n e t e e n

Then he kissed me. Finally.

Wait, what am I saying?

Right, I like Taylor.

There was no exact apology.

Everyone seemed to be eying us and I wondered why. My eyes laid towards Taylor's. He let loose of his grip and slid my hand away from his.

I forgot about his hands being intertwined with mines.

Was this the reason for all the eyes?

Can't believe Taylor is embarrassed.

That's when I headed over to Carter. He was the next thing as close to a friend besides Taylor. Oh also Matt and Jacks.

But Carter was the one I went to right away when I felt rejected by Taylor.

I saw Taylor leaving our class attendance line and heading over to Jack Johnson.

A burning anger tucked under my skin.

"So Carter?" I started as he nodded.

"I uhhh..."

"Yeah Shawn? Let me guess something just happened between you and Taylor?" he made this little face filled with a type of grin that would reel anyone in.

I tilted my head up and down vigorously without sound as he came over for a gigantic heart warming hug.

That's when we were able to leave the fields. Taylor chased after me.

"What?" I tried to ignore.

But that's when he grabbed my wrist, letting his hand melt into mines.

"I'm not embarrassed if you thought I was, Shawn." he stated with this devious grin. "If that's what you thought."

We walked the field with our hands clenched together.

That's when he slipped apart, moving his hand to my right side waist.

-

"I want to make it up to you." I claimed to Taylor while we walked to the bus. "You should come over, not today. Maybe Friday? Or tomorrow."

"Why not today?" he questioned.

"Well you can but don't you need some time to think or get permission?"

"What no. I stick around til like 3 am sometimes in the streets or at my forest you really think I need time to fill out some permission slip from my mom?" he tried to sound serious but I knew he was playing around.

We sat together on the bus again.

Same thing basically everyday.

"Tay you're sleeping right now and I'm sure. Never understood why you always knock out on the bus now. Back then when we didn't know each other you would always be wide awake writing in your journals. But I can't believe it's been six days and here you are in my arms. Your head is currently tucked under my arms. The smell of your hair is nice. I know the perfect gift for you. For our one week... well of friendship. The first time we laid eyes onto each other. I love you Taylor Michael Caniff."

My words were deep from my mind flooding out my mouth.

It was something I started ever since I had feelings for Taylor. I would record my thoughts throughout the day on a video camera. Then finally, when I have the will and ability to show him these, then I will.

That would make this day two.

I gained these feelings during the last time he left his head lying on my body.

His body twitched which overwhelmed me so bad, hoping he would wake up and notice that I'm filming him.

Hurts to know that I've known him for six days and it too me four days to gain feelings. It would of been cute to like him from the start. But relationships are better to gain than force it anyways.

I'm intimidated with Taylor coming over tonight. I don't know if he's aware of this whole one week being friends thing or not but its why I want him over today.

I tucked my head onto his and placed my fingers to where his were.

My eyes slowly faded into blackness.

-

I was awaken by Taylor shaking my shoulders rapidly.

"I don't know what stop you take to get to your house, well I do but I don't know where we are Shawn!" I was still lightly sleeping and therefore, without realizing it my hands both plopped onto Tay's neck. "Come here. Relax and cuddle." I spoke in drowsiness.

"Shawn. We're lost and you're asking me to cuddle with you.. on a fucking bus. Boy someone please help me." he panicked. I heard Taylor sigh and whisper to himself,

"Fucking shit this guy needs to get off this cloud nine imaginary life."

Leading onto that he placed his lips onto mine, that static connection. He let go instantly before I could kiss back.

"What was that!" I whispered in a tone that would seem like I'm yelling.

"I needed to wake you up cutie." Taylor answered in a seductive tone.

He inched his hands out towards me. "We bout to find our way home or what?"

I guess and with that I got up as he grabbed my guitar bag.

"So, according to the bus stop, your community is like a twenty minute walk from here and he doesn't go that route. You want to take the bus until someone leads us there or wa-" I cut him off by replying before he could finish, "WALK."

He grabbed my hand and we started walking. There's something I want to tell you and do but it's a surprise.