Journals | Shaylor

T w e n t y N i n e

I was wrapped with Johnson around me. The only thing that ran my mind was Shawn. Also wondering if my mom came back home, I was too busy fucking Jack.

It was something guilty for me to do but it got my mind off things.

Yes. I do hate myself for this.

I'm glad this all happened on Saturday, at least I'll have a day to fall on before I see Shawn at school. With all the same classes... oh.

Jack was still sleeping that's when I too my chance to get up and head for the halls. My hand pressed against the door as I slid open the knob. "Mom?"

She was no where to be found until I heard something downstairs. "Tay. I am downstairs."

"Hi mom um what happened yesterday?" I asked her, scratching my neck.

"Son you're coming with me to a diner at um your d-... well at... we are having dinner with the Mendes household." she told me while trying to avoid eye contact.

I stayed silent trying to plot my way out of this. "Tay? Did you hear me?"

"Yes mom I guess but right now I have someone over so just tell me when I should be ready then we'll leave."

I went back upstairs to see an empty bed and a clean floor, meaning Jack must of woken up and went to freshen up.

"Jack! Babes?" I hollered. "Showering!"

It was my opportunity to join in. I slowly snuck through the door and stripped my clothes. My shower kind of just had drapes so you really wouldn't be able to notice if anyone was messing around with it. My body was wrapped with the stream coming from the water.

I grabbed the soap bar and smoothed it over his back and neck which made him squeal. "FUCKING TAY." he looked really upset and frightened but eventually released it and acted casual.

"At least warn me." he commented. "But aren't surprises better Jack?" I smiled.

We had a decent shower, everything regular. Shampooing and the rinsing of the body and hair.

Jack got out first since he started a couple minutes earlier than me.

I sat under the water just thinking.

Shawn. Mendes. Boyfriend. Brother.

"Taylor when are you getting out? Your mom calls!" I heard jack interrupt my depressing thoughts. "Soon." I signed.

I got out with the towel around my waist as I caress through my hair.

Jack walked over to me. "Can I just umm..." he paused and licked his lips. "Well I'm doing it." with that he gave me a light kiss to my lips. "That's all."

"So I'm sure my mom called me to tell me to get ready today huh?" I asks as Jack nodded. "Yeah I have to eat with Shawn and his dad or well 'my' dad. I don't know." I said frowning.

"It'll be okay, Taylor. At least you're getting answers."

-

My mom and I had a really awkward conversation as we headed over to the Mendes home.

"You know, Paul told me, after he left us he decided to finish school because he wanted the best for Shawn and look where they are now. He is sorry for leaving me with you. I am sorry Taylor. Apologizing for leaving you in this hard structured life." my mom said about to tear up. "Mom it's not your fault that our finances are low or that our life is sad. It's okay mom. Don't worry."

"Well this why we are..." what mom can you go on I say to myself. "Paul and I are trying to work things out again and were planning to move in together."

"Mom!" I yelled which made her flinch and swerve the wheel a little. "Son we will talk thing through over there. I know you love Shawn and Paul. You just hate the situation." she said trying to make me feel better. "It's all accurate."

I kept my head to the window.

My life is a mess, well it already was and now everything is splattered even more.

Jack thinks I should still stay with Shawn, even though we had something last night. I don't know if it was spark or if I just really needed a jump start.