Journals | Shaylor

F o u r

Ever since I told Taylor about me having a blog to write my thoughts, I guess I'll go back on. Its been a while since I've actually talked about myself to people.

Taylor seemed so open when he talked to the old lady at the bus stop, he seemed so considerate. And then he talked to me... he's the type of person that I wish I could be.

So I would always be at the bus stop and he would be staring, like at me.

Song lyrics would flow in my head whenever I casually lean or stand and suddenly when I'm looking around the perimeter for some inspiration, his eyes would be locked on mines.

There are times when I feel an instant connection with him.

Fear over throws me and I end up not wanting to wave or smile at him.

But finally there was a chance to be abrupt. At that moment, I knew that he noticed me and was aware that I noticed him. I felt that when he reached for his journal that I picked up.

Now that's where the spark and connection kicked in.

I'm not saying I like Taylor but something felt right between us.

I was raised to understand that I don't need woman in my life but it doesn't mean I'll back away from girls.

Back to Taylor, he always had bandanas and carried that journal everywhere.

When it landed over to my feet, it parted in half and I'm sure I saw something about me in it, but I don't like looking through people's journals, which is why I didn't.

I wouldn't want people knowing my song lyrics and poems...

So today after the bus stop I went to do some shopping. Well not really but I like going to stores and just fooling around there. I would play the piano keyboards, ride bikes, turn up the sample stereos to the songs I like.

Then usually after all that sprawling around, I'd get a cheap hot dog.

When I sat down for a couple of minutes, that's when I noticed the guy from the bus, Taylor.

In ways, I wanted to greet him or give him a simple compliment like 'hey I like your pants' because we were wearing the same red plaid pajamas overthrown with some big hoodie.

It was dumb of him to sit near me like of all the places why would you sit leaning your back against mines.

That's when I went to 'get some ketchup' so I only stood up to see if there were any seats available that Taylor could sit by besides the one near mines.

There were.

I left a little after that.

I originally had to walk alone in the dark because my dad wasn't home and I didn't have the house keys to get my car so I thought that as soon as I got home I would sleep in the backyard or something.

This is what my normal days consist of. Bus stop, school, back to the bus stop to hang out somewhere alone, then realizing I don't have a key for any of those things and then I end up sleeping outside.

Yeah I have a car but I don't like driving it. Buses are cool, and it kinda is not my car but you could say it is since my dad has his own car and leaves this one all the time in the garage.

You know what else he always leaves? Me.

I keep forgetting my house key. A lot of times, I just walk out and lock the bottom before I leave but rarely make it in the house.

I have a maid Thursday and Friday. Those are the days where I don't take the bus because I have her to let me into my own house. Sounds funny right?

Well here's little more of my life.

I go to school to pick up work from each class early in the morning and drop it off later in the day. I've had a hard time dealing with people so I just nod here and there, not really starting conversation.

Although, I wasn't always this way. I really am trying to be a better person and live life the way I used to.

Meeting Taylor could help me because he seems so considerate with others.

I purposely made a longer route, just to be with him and understand him more.