Toxic

I don't feel like me anymore

Riley's POV
I don't feel like me anymore. I honestly feel stupid in every way possible. Cuz honestly I liked Jay but I don't want to cuz first off he likes someone else and 2nd off he legit bullies me. Like he just makes me feel so insecure in every way and he makes me feel worse than any person ever has he's dropping my self esteem drastically. I've been noticing more and more flaws about myself. I've honestly grown to hate myself. I hate how bubbly I am. He would constantly tell me my bubbliness was annoying and no one should be as happy as me and how weird I am. And if I'm being honest I am not okay. Everyday I've been wearing long sleeves to school so no one can see the cuts on my arm. No one knows about this I mean Cole knows how mean jay is but he doesn't know how it makes me feel and he doesn't know I've been cutting myself and there's no way in hell I want him or anyone to find out. I walk into courtyard and see my friends and brother I plant a fake big smile on my face and run towards them. "Hey guys" I say. "Hey" they all reply back but only Freddie Cole and Nick were there. "Where's the girls?" I asked. "I don't know I haven't seen them Jenna said she should be here soon tho" Cole said. My stomach then grumbled loudly. "Damn did you eat breakfast?"Carlos asked "nah breakfast makes me gag for some reason" I said casually. "so the last time you ate was dinner??" Cole asked worryingly. He was too overprotective. I looked down to the ground. "Actually she skipped dinner last night" Freddie said exposing me. Cole looked at me like I was crazy. "But you didn't eat lunch yesterday!!" He said loudly "yeah I know" I replied. He then grabbed his lunchbox and pulled a pack of pop tarts out. "Dumbass" he mumbled. " Here eat this it's your favorite kind it's s'mores" he said. "aw but Mickey Mouse that's yours" I said falsely. "too bad it's yours now now take it I'm not gonna take no for an answer" I rolled my eyes playingly I then reached to grab it my sleeve went up a little and you can see some of my cuts. I put my sleeve down quick but I can tell Cole saw. He just kept staring at my arm. I then said " Thank you Mickey and walked away I could feel his worried eyes on me as I walked.
Great just what I needed. Whatever he probably wouldn't care that much. Not to be bitter but he always cared for Jenna and no one else.

Again thank you guys for reading. Comment down below what you think so far and what you want to happen next 💖💝💘🥰