Toxic

Why

JENNA'S POV
I broke down the second Riley left. Everything was getting to my head and I didn't know what to do. Things were happening too fast. I hadn't even processed what happened with Kayne yet and I was still hurt by Riley and Cole basically hooking up together and I was mad at myself for yelling at her like that. I layed on my bed and had a good cry. About 30 minutes later I finally stopped crying and I just stared at my ceiling. I thought about the argument with Riley. I felt so bad. I should have just stayed calm and talked about it with her but instead I let my emotions get the best of me and I didn't know if she would ever forgive me. I said some pretty rude things to her and I know they hurt her because I could see it in her eyes. Did I just ruin my best and longest friendship because of some boy? What was wrong with me? I decided that maybe all I needed was a good vent about everything so I pulled out my old, very very old diary from like seventh grade and decided to write in it to clear my mind.

Dear Diary,
I messed up. I hurt my best friend and now I'm terrified that she will never forgive me for it. You see, Riley has been going through things recently and instead of talking to me about it she turned to Cole. I didn't mind much at first because I assumed that it was just because maybe it was something she wanted to talk to a guy about, but then they got closer. It hurt me because I felt like I was losing the one boy who always stood by me and my best friend all at once. They were always together and it really made me feel left out and alone. I invited Riley over today to talk to her about some things and when she got here she told me that she had kissed Cole. Those words made my heart drop to the floor. "I kissed Cole" I didn't realize how much it would hurt her that I don't like it. I reacted wrong too. I freaked on her and I started saying really rude things and I hurt her feelings a lot. I don't know wh-

My phone buzzed and I got out of bed. I walked over to my desk and picked up my phone. I unlocked it to see the message I had received. As soon as I saw the caller Id I immediately regretted checking. "KANE 🤪". I totally spaced on that situation. I looked at the text. "Can we please talk about what happened?" I left him on read and finished my diary entry.. I cleaned up my things and took a hot bath. I changed into my pjs and went to sleep.