I don't think you understand
How much I appreciate it
All of it.
I smile more now
And I laugh
And I've cut less
Sure
Maybe it's silly
Silly to give you credit
When I refuse to tell you anyway
But after I met you
After you came into my life
I felt safer
Less nights were spent
Entangled in the urge to cry
Less time was spent
Thinking up ways I could die
Making it look like an accident
But I see you
You're struggling too
And that's okay
But I wish I could help
I don't think you understand
How much I worry
How much I love you
How highly I think of you
Sure I'm distant at times
But I could never get bored of you
I could never stop caring
I could never forget you
You're like family
Someone I can trust
Someone who won't judge
No Matter how silly or stupid I'm being
But why
Why do you care
I'm nothing
No one
I'm not special
I'm not talented
I'm just a
dumb
Broken
Lonely teenager
I don't get straight As
I don't do anything right
Everyone leaves me
Everyone gets
Bored of
Or mad at
Or annoyed with
Or disappointed in me
So why do you care
I know you've asked me the same thing
And I know I give you all these reasons
And I promise they're all true
But you're actually someone
And I'm...I'm me
I'm no one
I'm the last resort
The voice no one hears
The nobody that everybody avoids
Because she's too weird
Or not interesting
Or pretty enough
Just not good enough
For anyone
No I don't want your pity
Or sympathy
Or anything that ends in pathy
Regarding caring about me
Because I'm not worth it
I'm not worth your love
Or your time
But you still don't leave
And yeah sure
I'm happy about it
I love you
But at the same time
I'm waiting
Preparing myself
For the pain to start
All over again
