╟Splatoon Manga × Reader Headcanons╢

You're getting harassed

It seems that some bitch is bitching at you; how will your significant squid react?

Goggles:
• He grows quiet when it begins to happen in front of him
• He suddenly smiles and steps into the conversation and utterly humiliates the bully
• You think he did it by accident, but oh boy no, he knew EXACTLY what he was saying to that bully
• He drags you away and kisses your cheeks, your forehead, nose, everywhere and hugs you constantly 

Rider:
• He doesn't wait for the bully to even say another word; he barges right the fuck in 
• "I'd get lost if I were you because I won't be just crushing you this time."
• Rider's intimidating enough to cause the bully to screech and flee
• If the bully doesn't let up, the battle gets P H Y S I C A L

Army:
• He won't resort to violence like Rider; he firmly believes that "two wrongs don't make a right"
• He grabs your hand roughly and super jumps you both to a far, far place
• He tells you to forget about it and begins to console you

• Little did you know, Army has a perfect sketch of the bully in his manual in case they ever crossed paths again

Aloha:
• the alola region is not pleased.
• He'll act passive aggressive at first, but if he doesn't get his results...
• snip snap someone's got a broken nose-
• And the broken nose ain't Aloha's either

Mask:
• Depends on how affected you are by it 
• He's quite the scary figure in public so if you can move on, he'll just send a death glare and that'll cause the bully to scramble away 
• However, if you're crying and are much too negatively affected by it...he'll give a quick hug and then-
• WAIT MASK PUT AWAY THE CROWBAR-

Skull:
• Like Mask, his presence terrifies others
• He steps in between you both and looms over the bully
• He talks slowly with his voice low to the bully (who might you is terrified at this point)
• After scaring the actual shit out of the bully, he gently grabs your hand and leads you to the bakery to get your mind off of it and pays for the bundt cake you chose

Gloves:
• He gets verbally aggressive even if it's a minor thing
• He then finds a way to insult their fashion when makes you snicker 
• He gets flushed when you laugh, which distracts him from the bully and the bully sneaks away
• Even to this day, Gloves can and will burst into a rant about the one kid who bullied his love

Emperor:
• Somebody harassing you would be very rare since literally everyone knows about you and Emperor 
• However, there's always that one dumbass
• Emperor's actually quite civil at first, asking politely for them to leave while rubbing your palm with his thumb gently
• If that bully 'fails to comply' then Emperor either calls up his team or calls security and he talks it over with you afterward

Prince:
• He stomps up the bully and pouts angrily at them 
• "Hey! Leave us alone!"
• Hypothetically speaking, the bully DOES leave you alone; but now they're after Prince
• You quickly get over it once seeing Prince attempting to fight the bully and carry him away leaving a confused bully