Waves at once

Chapter 23

Without me

"Can you wait up for one second" I snap as I try to pull back his arm. The hallway was empty; everyone was home but I knew this would be the only time I'd manage to catch him

"Shouldn't you be at home, Juliet?" His tone was flat as he continued walking ahead of me. The sun was setting allowing for an orange glow and dark shadows to fill the hallway.

"Oliver!" I bark and he finally stops in his tracks as he turns around slowly, starring at me with annoyance.

"What" he snaps "What could you possibly want now, Juliet?" He was trying his hardest to stay calm and I knew I would push those boundaries.

"Can we just talk?" I was tired, that's all I was, tired.

"Juliet, I'm not in the mood" he rolls his eyes as he begins to walk away

"What do you mean you're not in the mood Oliver? What's wrong then? Fucking talk to me Olly!" Frustration was taking over and the acoustics in the hallway weren't helping "What happened to everything you said?" When those words leave my mouth he freezes in his tracks
"You said you loved me, you said it was me and only me and then... you just... you just ignore me and act like I don't exist, as if I'm a pain in the ass, as if it's your shitty duty to be my boyfriend"

"Don't you dare victimize yourself,Juliet" He snapped as he spins around to look down at me "You're the one who was talking shit about me to everyone else"

"What?"

"Oh you didn't think I'd find out? The shit you said to Alec, Hunter, wouldn't be surprised if you told Ellie, Maddie and the girls" There was this kind of anger that laced in his eyes. An anger, that to this day, I'll never understand . It was just red. It were as if he were so angry, the fire in his eyes had turned into a dark black smoke that chose to slowly strangle it's victims rather than burn them quickly.

"Oliver, I don't know what you're talking about" I whisper in confusion, I felt so small and inadequate in front of him.

"Really, Juliet? You don't know. Cause apparently everyone fucking knows what that pretty mouth of yours has to say about me" And, how I knew this was worse than our last fight was that, this wasn't a screaming match. We weren't yelling nor screaming our lungs out, trying to one up each other in volume. We were just talking. But the implications of our words were flying around, hitting us in the face. The words were just words. And I had no idea what the implications meant nor where this conversation was going.

"Oliver, I don't understand" I try to reason with him as I reach out to grab his arm but he pulls it away from me.

"Don't – stop trying to touch me" He shook his head "You told them that I was just a stupid boy that didn't know what love was, you told them that I definitely wasn't the one and you wanted to hang around until the next best thing. You told them that – that you loved Hunter" He stopped as the last words left his mouth while looking at me "You love Hunter" he said again, pain washed onto his face like waves washed onto shore.

"Oliver you know better than anyone that, that's utter bullshit" I cut in quickly

"Is it? Is it really?" He questions bitterly

"what the fuck does that mean?" I narrow my eye at him waiting for his response

"Juliet" he starts, losing patience "We almost broke up because of him... yet, you continue to hang out with him. You continue to entertain him. You were so ready to sacrifice everything for him, so why shouldn't I believe what people are saying"

"I would never put him before you-"

"-He told you he loved you right in front of me and you didn't do anything about it" A silence fell as I stared at him, he was right. "Correct me if I'm wrong but all you've done is continued begin buddy-buddy with him"

"Oliver, are you really going to believe some stupid rumor over me?" I hiss, I felt more agitated than ever

"It's more than that Juliet! How do you not see that" He threw his hands up in frustration "It's about you entertaining every boy that stumbles your way. It's about you constantly trying to get even with me every time I unintentionally hurt you"

"Well, You cheated on me, what did you expect?"

"You cheated too"

"That was so long ago"

"He's one of my mates"

"And she wasn't mine?"

"You're supposed to talk to me about these things'

"I'm trying to-"

"You want to push it under the rug"

"I was trying to make this work for us"

"And I was trying too"

We were going back and fourth at each other, trying to rationalize the irrational. I lost track of who was speaking at some points. It all became one voice to me. One voice saying different things but with the same meaning.

"You said you loved me"

"And I meant it"

"I'm beginning to doubt that"

"why would you"

"I said I was sorry"

"You never said you were sorry"

"You knew I'd always love you"

"If you loved me you wouldn't hurt me"

"Why are you speaking in past tense?"

"Because you are"

And as those words dangle in the air, suddenly there's a silence. Tears were flooding my eyes as I felt my heart shattering to a million little pieces. I felt myself breaking down as the implications of those words began to flood my brain, and I didn't want to believe any of it.

Tears streamed down my cheeks as I began to let out a few sobs. Standing there in the middle of the dark hallways, weeping in front of who I thought was the love of my life.

He Pulled me in for a tight hug as he kissed the top of my head, letting me cry into his uniform. I knew I had broken his heart too, I could feel his soul cling tightly onto mine, not wanting to accept the facts of the implications we just threw in each other's faces. "You promised me you meant it" I croak "You promised it was me and only me, you promised you loved me" the more I spoke the more I cried. He had the opportunity to fire back at me but he didn't. He just clung onto me tightly, harder than ever.

"I'm sorry" he whispered and I shook my head

"Don't say that, don't-"

"Juliet, I really do love you" Those are his last words before he releases me, and without another look he continued walking towards the doors. Leaving me standing there on my own, hysterical as I called out his name. Hoping, praying that he'd turn around and come back to me

But he didn't.