Waves at once

Chapter 20

You told him what?

"I like your jacket" Ellie smiles as we continue scanning though the clothing racks. Saturady morning with Ellie entailed of us having coffee and shopping at our favorite designers, especially because fashion week was coming up soon and we had already received a bunch of invites to some shows.

"Thanks, It's Fendi" I smile "Have you booked a hotel for New York yet?"I ask while picking up a pair of heart shaped sunglasses. We were currently in Yves Saint Laurent trying to find a few accessories.

"Nope" she answers popping the 'P' " I was waiting to find out what hotel you were staying at" She say not looking up at me as she scans the table of accessories.

"I don't know which on aye"I answer

"Is Oliver coming?" she ask and I shrug

"I'll ask him" and she nods

"I mean, I don't wanna have to hear you two bang every night for a month" She teases and I feel my face go red as I send her a look, she burst out laughing as I playfully roll my eyes.

"You're not funny at all" I shake my head as I towards the till where they begin to ring up my things.

"What's going on with you two anyway?" She ask and I let out a sigh trying to find the strength to explain the story as I swipe my favorite black credit card.

"Uhm... we're back together-"

"Did you guys ever actually break up?" She ask raising an eyebrow while they hand me my bag

"Not officially" I answer as we walk out the store into the grey weather "-That's besides the point, but, I-I kinda told Hunter I was falling in love with him" Ellie stops in her tracks as she stares at me with a bewildered look plastered on her face as her jaw drops.

"You told him what?" She bats her eyes in shock and I quickly grab her arm forcing her to continue walking

"He didn't understand, I said it in French when we were riding so I doesn't make a difference" I answer quickly as I brush my dark hair behind my ears.

"Julie, whether you said it in Russian or Japenesse, it doesn't matter. Maybe he didn't understand-cool, but the fact is you said it. You allowed it to leave your mouth" She answers

"I know, I know. I told him I couldn't allow that to happen though, cause I can't. But fuck El, he makes me feel some kinda way. And I don't mean all hot and bothered like something out of a 50 shades novel but I mean he genuinely makes me feel all these exotic emotions that I can't make sense of" I sigh,somewhat frustrated as I run a hand through  my dark hair .

"And what about Oliver?" She ask while she analyses, me carefully, picking my brain.

"What about Oliver. That I love him? That's the only difference between Olly and Hunter. I know in my heart and soul that I love Olly... but in my mind, I acknowledge that I'm falling in love with Hunter simultaneously" I turn to look at her face that was neutral as she tried to find me an answer "And, I don't know what to do about it" I state as we enter the Valentino store "Hunter makes me feel everything at once like waves and waves of emotions but Oliver, we had sex the other night and , it suddenly felt like us being together made sense again, I know Olly and I were meant to be together"

"Listen" Ellie starts carefully as she stops for a moment trying to gather herself

"I love you, and you know that... and you're happiness means the world to me, but I think you're going to need to ignore your feelings for Hunter and stick with Oliver. Hunter is a risky choice and you don' know what could happen... being with Hunter would mean you're willing to sacrifice everything... a lot of your friend... your families support, Juliet, you'd lose Oliver, the person you've known and loved since pre-school and what would happen if Hunter and you broke up?" She says logically "Oliver is the rational decisions.  There's nothing to lose and, you know you loved him. If you didn't love him I'd might give Hunter a chance, but because you love Oliver, there's no reason to leave him for someone who hasn't said he actually loves you, those three words haven't left his mouth so, don't be stupid" She say and those words hit me deep as they spin around my head. They were logical and rational. Ellie was right.