zentropy | mileven.

⁴⁾ you bet i stare

[JANE POV.]

❝ but now, I will let her go, because she will never let me know ! ❞

━ CHAPTER FOUR.

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LAUGHTER RANG out as I continued to run as fast as I could down the hallways of hawkins high school, shouting the occasional, "excuse me!" or "coming through!" as I shoved past the sea of students mindlessly trailing down the halls.

I clutched the game boy in my hands with as much of a grip as I could manage, aware that mike would be catching up now soon, as I'd reached the end of the hallway with nowhere else to turn.

with a skid and a halt, mike wheeler stood in front of me, panting and laughing all at once, as his dark curls stuck to his face from the sweat that was dripping down his forehead.

"looking for this?" I asked him smugly, flaunting the little device. he nodded in victory as he made big strides towards me, ready to pounce for his beloved video games.

"give it, ives,"
"no way, wheeler."

I tucked the game boy in my pocket as he came up behind me, my back against his chest, the two of us fighting to either get the other off or bring the other closer.

his hands went into the pockets of my overalls and my eyes widened in defeat. instantly, I stuck my own hands down my pockets and gripped his fingers with mine.

"I know it's in there!"
"I have no idea what you're talking about!"

we were right up against each other, so close that I could feel his breath on my skin as the both of us laughed hysterically and wrestled around.

we somehow ended up slamming against the lockers together throughout our wrestling session, which caused the sea of students that walked by to all stop and stare.

"jane? mike? break it up you two," mr. clarke warned as he walked past us. we instantly scrambled off of each other, mouthing our sorries to him.

I took the game boy out of my pocket and tossed it to mike, who caught it with cat-like reflexes.

"been a while since we've done that," mike chuckled, which caused me to reciprocate.
"I feel like I'm twelve again," I said shaking my head, to which mike responded with "ditto."

my heart was beating furiously, and not just because I had just spent the last fifteen minutes both running and wrestling, but because my head was full. I felt like I was flying, or walking on air. I missed him so much, and now we were finally back to the way we were. the way we used to be.

but a part of me needed something more.

I had everything I wanted. I was friends with mike again. we were back to how we used to be, but my feelings continued to take over day by day, and I couldn't stand being so close to him but not being able to tell him how I felt.

I didn't want to just run around and wrestle with him, or crack jokes and make fun of each otherー I wanted to hold his hand. I wanted to hug him, and be held by him, and run my fingers through his hair. I wanted to kiss him and tell him that I love him, and that I've always loved him.

it killed me that I couldn't.

the two of us were now side by side, walking towards the cafeteria with dorky smiles on the both of our faces. we were discussing why he wore so many striped shirts (and what seemed to be only striped shirts) when he suddenly steered the conversation into an entirely different direction. a direction I dreaded.

"hey, so, do you think max is mad at me?"

I looked at him with caution underlying my expression as I hesitantly told him no.

"I just feel like, I don't know, like somethings wrong. like she's upset or something."
I could tell that this bothered him, for his eyebrows furrowed in a genuine display of frustration.

"why would she be mad? mad about-"
I cut myself off before I could embarrass myself further.
"what?"
"nothing."
"no, tell me," he begged, "what?"
"um," I muttered, sucking in air, "about us being friends again I guess?"

mike stopped to consider this for a second, his long bony fingers scratching his chin in deep thought.

"I don't think she'd be, could she?"
he asked with such hope and a clear sense of desperation in his voice.
I couldn't help but feel jealous.

"why do you care so much anyways?" I asked him, rolling my eyes, "it's not like you guys are still a thing, right?"

and that's when he eyed me in uncertainty.

"what?" I breathed, walking closer to him.
"I mean, I don't know," he muttered, scratching the back of his neck and causing his curls to mess about.
"you-you still have feelings for her?" I questioned, with hopefully not too much emotion behind it.

"I don't know, okay? maybe?"

I shook my head in disappointment and sighed audibly.
"what? are you judging me?" he asked.
"of course I'm judging you, you idiot! she's your ex, she only used you!"
"I know that!" he yelled back.
I took a step back in surprise.
"listen, I just- it's hard to get over your first girlfriend."
"the relationship lasted like 4 months, wheeler,"
"still- it meant something to me. you gotta understand that."

I couldn't believe what I was hearing. shaking my head again in disbelief, I began walking the opposite direction, an annoyed smile plastered on my face.

"hey, woah- are you mad at me?" he asked, following me in a slow jog.
"no, not mad. just- confused."

he grabbed my wrist as he caught up to me and the two of us faced each other, our noses inches apart.

"confused about what?" he asked in that low, husky voice he used when he was trying to be serious.
"about why you'd want to do that to yourself. you're only gonna get hurt."
he scoffed and locked his eyes with mine.
"I'll be fine," he assured me, letting go of my wrist and giving me a grin.

"so, what, you're gonna try to go for it with max then?"
he rolled his eyes in amusement and laughed. "doesn't matter what I do, she doesn't feel the same way."
welcome to the club, I thought to myself.

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hello this chapter was short and somewhat of a filler but the story is starting now lol, I'm gonna try to update everyday so therefore chapters will ultimately be shorter. I hope the people reading like the story so far and I hope to gain more readers in the future!! again didn't read this over for errors, hope you enjoyed :")

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-sonorabee